The Next Four Seasons - A Prologue

Of all the stories I've written for the game Ragnarok Online, I don't think there'll be any story with any larger a following than Four Seasons, the story of a cleric-in-training named Red who finds himself in a dilemma when faced with the choice between his childhood friend and a girl he's liked for a very long time already. The series is just a short five chapters, followed by a flash-animated prologue.

Actually, there was a second part to the series entitled The Next Four Seasons written just over a year ago. Though it was set for publishing at about the same time, by request of several people involved in making it, I decided to not post it. I decided that the first four seasons was good on its own already as well.

It's been quite a while since I finished writing the Next Four Seasons, and I figured I can at least share with you guys the start of the series, just so you have an idea why it got nuked.So here it goes:

Prologue - Autumn

"We live our lives, season after season, searching for something that will reassure us that we are not so, but in vain. That our threads of life are really a part of the tapestry. For some of us, we find this in what we do. For others, in who we want to be. For me, I found mine in who I should be with. I found my purpose in you. "

A voice from the past.

My melancholic recollection was replied to by a strong breeze from the dancing patch of grasslands yonder, fortelling an early winter . Only then did I notice that the sun had already set on the lifeless mound whence I stood. Even the sun had deserted me. The funeral for the huntress had long been over hours before, the sympathizers, gone.

With the dull flapping of my nightshade saint's robe against my skin the only comforting pat that I'm receiving, it was the one moment in my life that I have never been more sure of my solitude.

My eyes have gone dry, wells of tears long since exhausted - like the carmine autumn leaves carpeting the ground and the naked trees behind me. The time of mourning has passed, Father Anthony said during the elegy. But the closer you are to the person when he or she passes away, the harder it becomes to forget.

For me at least, the mourning had only begun. And I could stand on that hill for forever - alone.

It was the third night that I would not hear her singing and my ears felt as though they would bleed rom the strain of not hearing what they wanted. I was looking for her song everywhere. And not even the singing of the gentle wind could calm my longing spirit.

At that point in time, I regretted. I regretted ever knowing her, because now, I know what I'm living without. And that without-ness will last me my lifetime already, without any hope of parole.

Dusk faded into eventide just as it has done long before I was born. It doesnt stop the same way we do. Because even after we're long gone, they'll still be there - like haunting memories of us to our loved ones. Like mine of hers.

I glanced a bit to the tree to my right and caught a glimpse of Emi, standing for about as long as I have been there. She too was in mourning, but not so much as for the huntress. She knew I was too lonely to be left alone.

I couldn't say that her presence was getting to me. I couldnt even notice she was there. But deep inside, I was longing for that comforting embrace from somebody I once called my own.

Once, we were in love too. And I know she still loves me just as much today. But things have changed. After all that has happened, There is nothing left with me but fear. I am surrounded by so much fear for everything that is and around me for now I know, the only real way to not lose something is to not find it in the first place.

And for that, Im afraid I can never love again.

This is the next four seasons of my life.

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And no, in case you were wondering already; this sequel does not reflect any real life events so don't bother asking for the iRL translations. This is actually twice longer than Four Seasons and I wrote it over the span of three months, compared to the four nights that I used up to write Four Seasons.

I'm still thinking of whether or not I should finally release the actual story in ff.net Maybe it's a bit too late already. I don't think anybody even remembers what the whole story was about anymore.

Meanwhile, my currently only ongoing series entitled Wanted: Full-Support Priestess has almost completed its first half. I think I'll just focus on that first.

Writing prose still gives me the rush I need. And I'm happier for it.