Money for Quotes

So I was hanging around PinoyExchange the other day when I saw a queer looking advertisment for probably the one of the most devilish of local spirits around (read: kanto drinks). It's a quote creation competition and 100 students will get 10 thousand pesos for winning entries.

Since I've been collecting self-quotations for quite some time now (as you can read from my previous posts) I thought I should join anyway. I know, I know, I'm not a student anymore, but I can always do the argument "but we are all students of life" and probably get a free drink or two.

Nevermind the fact that the contest about creating profound words about success is by an alcoholic drink-making company. Nevermind that the last place you'll be looking for profoundness is in the words of a man about to blackout from all the alcohol in his blood. Nevermind that relating drinking alcohol to succeeding in life is like relating getting shot at by an m60 machine gune to losing weight. No, I didn't mind that. Afterall, at that time I considered myself sober. And if I'm going to be competing against alcoholics, huzzah for me.

So I entered five quotes about success. If youve seen my recent list of autoquotations (an invented term for a quote you made for yourself), most of these are actually just derivations from older ones that's not actually related to success. (I would enter "two Successes is better than one failure" but the original quote isn't mine)

1. Successful is the man who makes others appreciate him not for what he has in commonality, but what he holds in difference.

2. There is a limit to what man can do. Success in life is knowing that of yourself and that of other people in everything that need be done.

3. Success in life depends in knowing when to fall back; That backing out is just moving on in another direction.

4. Oftentimes, it's not the success that needs to be achieved but the manner by which it is achieved that counts.

5. A simple rule governing success in life: Do what you love and love what you've done.

(For the love of God and everything rational, don't you dare steal these quotes without giving me at least a free shot of Brandy.)

So there. After placing the entries, I recieved an autosent confirmatory email from the guy at Emperador Brandy. Let me digest the contents for you.

Dear Jethro,

Thank you for joining Susi ng Tagumpay: Inspiring success through education. You have successfully registered our advocacy program for students.

It seems more than submitting quotes, I have also registered their program for students. Shouldn't I be earning money from all these achievements?

You may enter up to 10 qutes to give you more chances of winning Php 10,000.00 for you educational allowance! Log on to www.emperadorbrandy.comm and follow the links to submit your entries.

What the fuck is a "qutes" and "for you educational allowance". Qutes sound like an irish slang for something really nasty that I'd rather not mention. And I am not "educational allowance." And the link doesnt even work.

Entered quotes will be screened by a panel of highly respectable judges, which includes a representative from the academe, the government and the media.

Highly respectable. What the hell. Highly respected? Maybe they're just extremely acceptable. Again, I'm not sure.

Once again, thank you for your contribution in lifing the Filipino spirit through words of inspiration. Good luck!

This guy is a genius in creating words that I and Webster and Merriam cannot fathom. That or he doesn't know what spellcheck means. Who is this guy?

Sa Tagumpay,
Emperador Brandy

Holy Shit, it's the emperor himself emailing me. I feel honored. And by honored, I mean screwed. The guys who made this email wouldn't pass a breathalizer test if I asked them toreplace half their blood content with coca-cola.

I rest my case.