Our Dying Press

Monday, December 14, 2009

Just now, I read Manila Bulletin's latest bombshell in the cold war arms race of retarded online articles by our lovable newspapers. I've seen the future of journalism. It's brave. It's bold. Damn straight, it's loaded with double dutch special of dumb shit I won't pay for if it's print.

Case in point? The link to the article is here:

Gargoyles Out To Snatch Christmas

(more after the jump)

It took me half of the article to realize what the hell Allan Fransisco was talking about. The column is supposed to be about IT. There is the world Gargoyle on the title. And under normal circumstances not involving mild retardation, there has to be some connection.

Two paragraphs later, my good friend "correlation" still cannot be found. Neither are there any attributable context clues that would point out that I was, in fact, reading the writer's mental fart about the Maguindanao Massacre, and not about a videogame involving Gargoyles (which would've been awesome)

Speaking of which, GARGOYLES. Let's talk about that for a minute here. Think of a bad word to describe the Ampatuans. Try to think of as many as you can, and see how long the list goes before the word "Gargoyle" enters your mind. A stone, gothic looking waterspout carved in the image of a winged beast. An ELEGANT STONE RAIN DRAIN. It never entered my brain. It probably never will.

Jesus. No.

And that's just the start. For the sake of being fair, I'll assume that four paragraphs later, Allan Fransico was hit by a hard object at the soft spot of his skull and completely dislodged the idea that he was writing about the Ampatuans in the article and replaced it completely with iPhones, because honestly, I can't think of two topics more irrelevant to each other than a cold blooded killer and a trendy communications device.

Writing style is absolutely purple. I had to remind myself twice while reading the article that I'm not reading Twilight fanfiction. I can also understand that this is supposed to be an opinion-type of column, but the lack of facts almost makes me think the guy basically sat down, thought of one or two things he and his friends talked over lunch that day, and just wrote them the fuck down like nobody would ever read it. Because that's what I think this is. Glorified scribble.

If winners get to write history, I would assume columns like this are what losers would write. Is this what journalism has come to? Some guy sitting down for 15 minutes without researching anything and then publishing substandard horse shit for people to read? Quoting Michael Crichton, "In the information society, nobody thinks. We expect to banish paper, but we actually banish thought"

What the fuck happened? It almost feels like there was some point in time not too long ago, editors of online newspapers woke up one morning, realized that unlike their traditional counterparts, their money won't come from people who will appreciate their journalistic prowess, integrity, and writing skills.

No, on the internet, it's all about how many people accidentally stumble on your website and consciously/unconsciously click on your ads. Imagine being an opera singer whose income depends on how many packs of peanuts gets sold during her performance. You don't have to sing well, just have lots of shows to get more peanuts.

In a knee jerk reaction, the editors went "Fuck it. Fuck integrity. Let's make money!" and just went on letting writers do whatever the fuck they want for articles like the dumb sonnvabitch gargoyle article that fucking pointless and a waste of my time.

*pant pant*

Going back.

I remember before, I was being recruited by a friend to write online articles for him for 300 pesos per piece. He says it's a good way to make money and exercise my literary muscles. He knew it in his heart as well as I did that it's not really about what I write about, but how much visibility my article will give his clients on search engines. I could write as horribly as I could for all he cared but it wouldn't really matter. I turned down the offer and politely asked him to go fuck himself. (we're not friends anymore, if you still haven't figured that one out).

There are still days I refuse to believe this model is now what our once revered publications are now adopting. And clearly, there is something fundamentally wrong in having the voice of civilized society turn into money-making drabble.

Fuck gargoyles. More than anything else, I believe this warehouse-style of writing is killing our free press faster than any Ampatuan can.

Regarding NiHao (NI)'s rescheduled SRO

Thursday, December 10, 2009

This is related to my previous posts regarding trading with NiHao(NI). Reposted from my favorite message board.

Maybe JAP and his gang had this planned out from the start. Everybody knows the moment Dec 11 neared, the stock will drop. Looking at the drop the past week or so, they could have sh**ted along the way to a very huge profit. And then they execute an extension at the last possible minute, disrupting the timing of everybody.

Eto lang po idea ko.

Now we're thinking, maybe they are going to push the price up again? One week is more than enough to squeeze in yet another rise/fall cycle. People will look into buying becuase of this thought. And the jockeys aren't stupid. They will expect this mentality and work their magic trying to reinforce that idea by jockeying the price and let the buyers play last touch until sometime next week. They have the funds after all, from the sh*rts they could have done.

If the jockeys play their cards right, the stock price will rise at a rate higher than ever, and there's no way in hell even a pricedrop halfway through the week can bring it back to the level it's touched today. Because if we learned something about NI, its price doesn't avalanche down, so by the time the SRO shares get released, the amount will be bigger.

Guess what's happening after the SRO listing date? LIHC ASM. They'll announce the par change, the SRO and let the sellers jump ship to yet another M7 stock.

Talk about keeping money within the community eh?

Of course, you'd ask, this is a zero sum game right? Unless new investors start flocking, it's probably true. Then how come everybody seems to be winning? The people who got stuck at the top, those to cut loss. That's where the profit is coming from. The philosopher's stone is made with the blood of victims.

Now all of this is just a theory. I cannot say I'm exceptionally good in TA or FA. Best indicator I can think of is is if the price of NI starts rising on Friday and continues on Monday. In that case, the real game begins.

Again, just a wild theory.

Yes, Damn It, I'm Endorsing Somebody

Monday, December 07, 2009

Vandalism, Highlighters

I used to wonder why the MMDA insisted on drawing pink lines on ALL streets in Manila, until I realized one thing. Holy shit, Bayani Fernando wants our streets to be highlighted in Google Maps! Think of Manila as review material and MMDA as a HUGE Stabilo highlighter.

Which reminds me, I never really got to understand why some people insist on using a highlighter, to highlight every fucking word in whatever they're reviewing. Where's the point there? So your notes can double up as a roadside warning device?

I remember back in highschool, vandalism was such a big problem all sorts of felt-tip markers were banned. The pentel pens were the first to go, understandably. But being highschool students in an All-Boys school, that wasn't nearly enough to stop us from drawing penis symbols all over the campus, as though a testicular voice from outerspace commands us to pay homage. No, we turned to Stabilo highlighters, which in the end were banned too. So much for Neon graffiti. But did that stop our artistic drive?

Not even close. Seeing there are no longer other options, vandals started using the only things still legal - ballpoint pens. Can you imagine how hard it is to vandalize a bathroom tile with just a pen? You don't write anymore. You CARVE. You can just imagine the dedication of the people who did vandalisms in our all-tile CR (designed as such so vandalisms are easy to clean up). The guys who did Mount Rushmore would be so proud. Although, they might not be as approving of the message "Malaki ang Suso ni Miss Tabuso", complete with a graphical representation to drive the point home.

I don't even get why we have to write those things. I mean, our teacher has a huge rack. That's a given. Normal people would smile at the thought. Normal teenagers would probably masturbate. A small minority will see this as an opportunity to capture a message and get it out the only way they can - WRITE IT ON THE COMFORT ROOM WALLS.

Other times, you'd even see replies to vandalisms, and replies to replies, each just as funny and depressing as the last.

And then I realized, it was 1996, and I was in highschool.

I was staring at threads upon threads of anonymous conversation on the CR walls.

And numbers of illustrations, both lewd and random.

And probably the earliest incarnation of 4chan.

Apparently, even Ohm got it all wrong.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Rubber gloves = 1 MILLION OHMS. Touch them and you'll die.

Condoms = ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND OHMS. Protection? More like SUICIDE.

Listen to this man. He knows his Physics.

Random Banter

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

When a row of seats inside a jeepney contains at least one fat guy whose humongous buttocks displaces the equivalent of the ass-space of one and a half persons, does it make sense for the last guy to charge the fat guy half of his fare for the asscheek he will not be able to sit properly? If he does not, does it not constitute as stealing? Note that I am not discriminating fat people. I simply believe in pragmatic rationalization. You take up more mass. You need to pay more.

An upsidedown cake is an upsidedown cake, until you give it to a bat.

There's no "i" in "team", but interestingly, there's an "i" in the "square root of negative one".


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