Resolutions 2014

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Another year done, another list unfulfilled. We try, but it's hard. This was my list from last year:

1. Write screenplay for at least two short films
2. Publish at least 10 articles for the InTouch magazine while doing edits. 
3. IELTS
4. Check prospects for another job. 
4. Continue the stuff above that I did not completely abandon (book, running, swimming, standup)

I missed almost everything on my 2013 list but that's okay. It's amazing how much stuff you don't never plan, but turn up anyway for the betterment of everybody. This year:

I got married. And this time it's no longer an online game marriage.

I went back to the US. I returned from the US.

I joined Inforum. I drank the free beer.

I rode all the rollercoasters I missed the last time I was in Orlando.

I drank butterbeer.

I returned to doing amateur standup comedy. I still suck at it, but hey, free beer every now and then.

I now have a baby. She drinks a lot but beer's off the menu.

I joined Toastmasters. I learned there's not much toasting beer there, but it's all good.

And the Martians have been thwarted for another year (If you think I'm making this part up, look outside and see if there are any flying saucers. No? You can thank me later.)

It's been a very good year.

Next year, I want to:

1. Finish the godawfully delayed book that I've been trying to publish for almost a presidental term's length already.

2. Host an event.

3. Join the Toastmaster's speech competitions.

3b. If possible actually win something.

4. Create that 10 minute killer set for Standup Comedy

5. Raise baby into the awesomest 1yo kid and beyond.

6. But first, baby cosplay (because she wont remember jack)

7. Go back to running/swimming. Finish Zombies Run!

Good bloody luck to everybody. Myself included. More of myself actually.

Toodles!

What's been up?

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

In case anybody asks what the hell happened to this blog and why I have not updated anything remotely original for the longest time, I'm proud to say that I have a bucket-full of excuses for you to choose from.

I am guest writing at Agila News at the moment. You can check the links out for my articles. It's still the same Public Static content, just more news-y.

http://agilanews.wordpress.com/2013/11/27/spain-sends-church-rebuilding-team/

http://agilanews.wordpress.com/2013/11/25/santa-claus-naughtynice-list-unconstitutional-bayan-muna/

I also got married. I now have a kid. Yes, I did both at the same time, in parallel. Man was meant to multitask. Specialization is for insects.

I'm also doing standup comedy regularly now. So if you want to hear old jokes from this blog rehashed for oral delivery, you can go watch during my sets in Chihuahua GB2 and Tomato Kick Katipunan (sometimes).

There's also Toastmasters, which I'm proud to say I'm almost done with the first set of speeches. You can message me if you're interested to join in the fun.

Meanwhile, my twitter @redkinoko is still active and dapper as fuck. Follow me if you like silly oneliner jokes that are 160 characters or less (because I'm mostly lazy now. Well, lazier-ER)

That said, thanks for dropping by. I'll try to resume my blog articles in a while.


Ony The Best

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

It's times like this when I'd like to believe in the selfless brotherhood, the camaraderie between strangers, the love that unites peoples, and the heart that gives unconditionally. I'd like to believe in the joy that can only be brought by giving, the sorrow that drives to help, the empathy of the human spirit. I'd like to believe in humanity. In hope. In that I am not alone in thinking this.

I'd like to remember this moment, not as that one moment where a storm destroyed records, communities, and lives, but that one moment we as a people were able to put aside our differences, ignore our bickerings for a moment, and ultimately find a common cause on the most basic levels of morality to help out every way we can. I'd like to remember this moment and feel pride, not simply because we did something good, but because we did something beyond what's expected of us.

Count the blessings that you have this year, then make change for the less fortunate. It's been a bountiful year for everybody. I know it has been for me. I'd take a look at the wall posts, the instragram pictures, the tweets - the past - and know how kind life has been. Unfortunately it's not the case for everybody. There's a cry from the less fortunate.  Let goodness beget more. There's always something you can give. And there's always something only you can give.  Let's share what we can. Let's do what we can. Let's be the best we can be at life's worst. That one day when we look back at this moment, we'll be able to smile and we'll be able to say

"We shined together in our darkest of times".

Toastmasters Competent Communicator Speech #5 : Videoke Culture

Thursday, November 07, 2013

The following article is a transcript of my recent Toastmasters speeches. They're not meant to be read in written form, so a lot of context may be lost in the process. Also, proofreading. LOL.

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I'll be talking about the cultural impact of Videoke, which I'm sure Filipinos love on a genetic level and that this song will contain singing. The bad news is that I will be singing. That said, Good evening, Fellow toastmasters and guests.

We're the only country that uses the term Videoke. Did you know that?  Videoke, or Karaoke as it was originally called, was first popularized in Japan, which is their biggest contribution to the world next to fuel efficient cars, instant noodles, and pokemon. Karaoke in Japanese is from  is roughly translated to "Please don't sing My Way". 

There's still some debate as to who invented the Karaoke, through the best way to put it is that it was invented in parallel in Japan by Daisuke Inoue in Japan and Roberto Del Rosario in the Philippines at about the same time. That's how much we love karaoke. We know it's already going to be invented, but we'll invent our own just to make sure. The invention is largely influenced by minus-one recordings that were again, popularized by Filipino performers in Japan. So if there's any country that really really wants Videoke to come into existence it's US.

Crying the Pork Away

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

src: www.myconfinedspace.com
It's so easy to complain, isn't it? Heck, nowadays you don't even have to voice out to complain anymore. A few clicks, a few button presses and you're already complaining using the voice of some other person in the internet. In the digital age we thought we could finally have absolute freedom of opinions. What we actually got was the absolute freedom to repost other people's opinions. In that light,  it's never been easier to complain and it's now even easier to be angry, stay angry.

But is anger, complaint, and discontent all there is to fixing things?

When one of the organizers of the rally today was asked of what can be done in lieu of the pork, she couldn't say anything remotely practical and said "well, we're not the experts".

No one is.

But if you're going to be responsible enough to carry a protest you should be responsible enough to try and understand the situation as well. Not one or the other. They have to go hand in hand. How else would you know something is being done?  Solving a problem as an adult isn't just about complaining. It's about understanding the picture and pointing out where it can be fixed. There's a difference between "I WANT MY CANDY" and "You have candy, and I deserve it because." It's called maturity. Maturity in complaints means knowing what can be done and acting on it rather than just waiting for somebody else to hear you.

So here's a bigger picture.

Not THE big picture, just a bigger one.

Yes, I wholeheartedly agree, the pork needs to go. The fund disbursement roles should change hands from legislative to executive branch (which, yes, includes the office of the president). But until that role actually changes hands, removing the PDAF at once means a lot of people who have good reasons and are depending on them will be left hanging. Scholars. Sick people. True charities. Yes, they exist. Nobody ever mentions them because nothing's interesting about them, other than they are in need of assistance.

You cannot just tell these people "Tough shit, you've been sucking from a particularly corrupt, deprecated teat. Better start looking somewhere else." There is nowhere else. Believe it or not, the PDAF is one of the fastest ways one can get financial aid when you're part of the marginalized and outside Metro Manila (where there's PAGCOR, bigger charity groups). Ask anybody who was in actual need and benefitted from it. I'd like to bet half of the people in the rally today have never seen it in action. Sure it's not incorruptible (hell no). Sure, it doesn't serve a lot of people. Sure it reeks of feudalism. But I can assure you, it does work when you're tens of thousands of pesos short of getting that kidney transplant for your father.

You cannot say "Well they should itemize this in the budget!". That's the whole point of PDAF. The fund originally existed for priority issues  that fell outside the items mentioned in the budget. How can you anticipate Lolo Lando's kidney failing during budget deliberation? Storms? Dengue Outbreaks? Famines? Visits of the Lopezes?

You cannot also say "Well we're the ones paying taxes so we should be the ones benefiting, not them!" News flash. Taxation serves three purposes. Running government services, economical control, and  redistribution of wealth. While running public healthcare, charity services, and emergency response falls to the first part, when things are not running as efficiently as they should, a special avenue needs to be made available to fix where the seams aren't perfect. PDAF belongs to the third, and it aims to provide for those special exceptions that the first component cannot address.

Don't get me wrong. There is an issue at hand. The PDAF is not working as intended and this has to be addressed, yes. But will we be be able to address it now and solve the problem forever? Good bloody luck with that. Because as long as there is a need and the people see the last viable solution in PDAF, there will still be calls for its return in one form or the other. And for so long as it exists, the problem stands. A gradual transition from dependence in pork to smaller priority funds on executive bodies and working oversight is the only way this can get fixed without long term repercussions.

Abolishing pork is a goal, not a solution. The solution is actually a longer and gruelling process of reform that requires gargantuan political will and ever present vigilance from the populace. But of course that's too daunting and far too complex to place in a banner and gain traction in this age where the average attention span is often no longer than two clicks or 140 characters.

It's hard. And the first thing you can do to actually make it work is to get over the idea of simplicity. It never is. It's called daang matuwid, not daang madali.

Because complaining is easy.

Understanding, understandably, never is.  

Plot Fridays : Dambana

Friday, July 19, 2013

2015 - The Philippine envoy to China is assassinated en route to a three-party talk. 24 hours later, an anoymous warning is plastered online via various hacked government websites of nuclear counterstrike. Three days later, a major Chinese city is devastated by a dirty bomb explosion. China demands justice and reparation for the action by presenting a five point unconditional ultimatum. The Philippines clears itself of any links to the terrorist act and refuses all but one demand.

Citing its defense doctrine, China declares war and moves in to execute their Battle Plan Orange, beginning a successful invasion and proxy occupation of Manila and outlying regions. Against all expectations, no UN coalition is formed to intervene. Abandoned and abruptly pushed back to the far hinterlands, resistances form amongst the displaced Filipinos.

One group of resistance gain notoriety among the invading forces calling themselves the Los Bravos. They get a mission from contacts of Americans covert operatives to rescue the imprisoned Vice President. Things get awry, and they end up running away from a dedicated group of elite forces with a dying Vice President in tow. Along the way they learn the uncomfortable truth behind the assassination and the terrorist act that began it all. Eventually, they realize that they have with them the one key piece of information to turn the tides of liberation.

That is, of course, provided they survive to tell the tale.

Twitter One-liner Roundup (Sept 2012 - July 2013) @redkinoko

Friday, July 12, 2013

There's something special about assknobs who've never worked a day in their lives rant about squatters being lazy and self-entitled.

1. Legalize porn 2. Set unrealistic expectations for an entire generation of boys 3. Population ↓ 4. Tissue and lotion industry ↑

My concept of a low cost 3D printer involves a wad of clay, a schematic printout, and copious amounts of whiskey.

Casper was a 2-hour long movie about what it feels like to be dead and still friendzoned.

Something's wrong with our generation if we have to go online before we can learn if somebody is a person of prayer.

Word of the day: Gallivanting. In Tagalog, "nangangahoy".

Drunk playing billiards sans a shirt at 9 in the morning. It's amazing how my ideas of being successful and being a failure are the same.

Why does Team Bon Chon Of The Game sound more of an affront than a corporate award?

New term of the day: #kiligtae as in "sa sobrang kilig... " Usage: "Dumaan si Dong kanina, walang Tshirt. Ayun, kiligtae naman si Maria."

Remember before the 2008 financial crisis, the biggest problem that we had deal with as a country was Hale's music? #wehaditgood

I wish I could rename my city Mon. Then I can skip the first day of the week on the grounds that it's Mon Day. #okaythatmadesenseinmydream

Release a bunch of plastic toys and nobody cares. Tell them it's collectible and everybody starts losing their minds.

People complaining about pictures of two hot chicks kissing in support of basic rights proves people will complain about just about anything

Massive Facebook Oneliner Roundup (Sept 2012 - July 2013)

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Let's take a moment to thank the fact that Facebook did not exist before we got our act together and started behaving like perfectly normal human adults. For the most part, anyway.

Last of Us is awesome, not just because you get to play old Gerard Butler with a young Ellen Page sidekick but because of the attention spent in the details. If some dude from the game dev team spent time making sure the direction of flowing tears shifts when a person changes the angle of his/her head, you know damn well they're pulling no stops.

Fast and the Furious IS Twilight for men. There's them cheesy lines that would pass easily as highschool pulp and instead of vampires and werewolves, there's cars and unbelievably sexy race chicks. At the middle of it all is a heavily built up guy with black hair and a sparkly white dude blasting through one ridiculous plot device after another.

Crack Nancy Binay jokes one day, defend Jessica Soho the next.

PSA: Dear froshies, avoid clumping together and blocking entrances/tight hallways/entire road lanes whenever you feel the urge to convene on where to eat. The answer is nowhere because the new school motto is Religio/Mores/Kayo Bahala. Carrion of froshies that get stuck and starve to death is a major cause of human traffic and late book returns. Upper classmen in a hurry to fail their next class do not like to get delayed. Thank you.

House Parati-yon-absent , House Lannis-terrible-job, House Targarabekaramiwork, House Greyjoybeenanamankinakinkokanina George R R Anting. #earlycornfridays

"Started from the bottom now we here." - Tetris.

Laws of the Game of Thrones Universe

Monday, July 08, 2013

Law of Episodic Folicular Entropy : Sansa's hairstyle is not allowed to repeat more than once per episode

Stark's First Law of Colocation - Starks are not allowed to stay in Winterfell.

Stark's Second Law of Colocation - If more than two Starks are in one place, one or more of them will be unnecessarily displaced.

Stark's Third Law of Colocation - If you're a Stark and Arya is nearby, bad things will happen to you.


Law of Cosmic Pyrochromosomal Order - If you have dragon blood, the universe will let you get what you want. Eventually.

Pyrochromosomal disorder corollary - Bitching about it really helps.

Stock Market Terms for Filipinos

Friday, July 05, 2013

Streetsmarts - Yung klase ng talino na magagamit mo para mabuhay sa kalye pag nalugi na lahat ng pera mo sa PSE.

McArthur Stock - Mga stock na bumabagsak bago tumatalbog sa mas mataas na presyo. "I shall return"

Sharon Stock - Mga stock na sobrang bigat hindi na makagalaw sa charts.

Delata - Stock na kahit ibaon mo ng 3 taon e hindi nagbabago ang estado.

Bull Market - cycle ng stock market kung saan lahat ng hulanalysis e tama.

Bear Market - cycle ng stock market kung saan lahat ng hulanalysis e tama daw.

Annual Stock Holder meeting - Libreng doughnuts at aircon in exchange for depreciating investments.

Long term investment - Term na ginagamit ng mga tsupitero pag sobrang baba na ng value ng stocks nila, pwede nang ipaconvert sa certificates at ipamunas ng pwet para lang magkaron ng silbi.

 

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