More One Liners from My Facebook

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I'm a purefoods chicken nugget! More chicken under the shell. I'm chunky! Juicy! Chicken delight, in every nugge - EAAAARGH MY BRAAAAAIN! YOU'RE EATING MY BRAIN!

SONA Drinking game: Everytime GMA claims achievements done before she came into power, take a shot. Everytime GMA claims achievements that wouldve happened even if she weren't there, take two shots. (warning: this game can actually kill you)

End user - the general feeling of wanting to cut short the life of whoever you're developing software for.

Hyperthreading - the ability to do amazing things while the fate of the project hangs by a thread.

Multitasking: (N.) - (mul-tay-tas-king) The process of screwing multiple things up at the same time.

(more after jump)

Dear moon, stop being lazy and quit mooching light off the sun. It's bad enough that you're not working full time on a daily basis.

I will no longer procrastinate. I will see things through. I will no longer be indecisive. Most importantly, I will - (will continue this stat message later, maybe)

Yun lang naman sinasabi ko palagi. Kung hindi mo na mahal ang tao, hindi mo na mahal, pero siguraduhin mo na bago mo bitiwan ang isang relasyon, nagawa mo na ang lahat para paganahin yun, kasi parang larong agawan base yan. Walang balikan.

ollege Trivia #2: DLSU CCS male students like to go to the men's room together during breaks to have boy talks.

CollegeTrivia #1: DLSU CCS holds exams at night so the students can conveniently go home right after the exam and cry themselves to sleep

Everybody knows all that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. But not everybody realizes it also requires evil men to try really really hard. People gotta work hard to achieve, you know?

If social networking sites were women, Facebook is somebody who demands too much attention and who's all about playing games. Multiply is a conservative oldbag who just doesn't know the definition of fun. And Friendster would be that first hot girl you had sex with, who eventually became the town bicycle, gained tons of weight, and became riddled with viruses you don't want to acquire.

Manly suggestion #16: Try listening to the movie theme of Rocky while taking a dump. It won't help the constipation, but God knows you'll try harder.

"Do you know anything that can help me write my story?" "A pen."

Pwede rin ba magstrike ang mga pasahero pag siraulo yung driver ng jeep?

There's this guy I know, he sucks in bed so bad, any attempts to record it always end up in Quicktime.

I don't get why people only say good things to another when the other person is already dead. What are they trying to do, get free drinks from the departed? Come on man. If a person's beautiful, or admirable, or if he or she did something great, just say it. It won't kill you, and unless the other person has a frail heart, it won't kill her either.

Ang pagibig hindi parang kanin na pwedeng iluwa kapag nagiinit. Teka, hindi ata pagibig yun.

Too many cooks spoil the broth, unless you're a cannibal.

The only difference between a burrito and a shawarma is that putting pork in the former makes it pork-flavored while putting it in the latter makes it an abomination.

Let's face it, "sedated" isn't exactly one of the best things you can put under "dating preferences".

MRT na ata ang pinakamagulong train sa buong mundo. Pag sumakay ka sa North station tapos pumunta ka sa kabilang dulo, pagbaba mo, nasa "Top" station ka pa rin.

The other day I tried to add Jose Rizal up on Facebook, until I realized how ridiculous it was. Taga Ateneo kaya yun!

Never hit a man with glasses, specially if he's holding your drink for you.

You don't treat love like a 7/11. Never enter one expecting convenience. Or free Slurpies.

Beimg the best in life is a lot like being the best in typing maniac. Either get good enough to best all of your friends or hang out only with friends you're sure you can beat.

Any programmer can say "Hello World". A really good programmer can make the world answer back.

Men's Haircut: Stylist Salon vs. Barbershop

Monday, July 27, 2009

1. Tools.
Stylist: Scissors, wax, more scissors, hairclips
Barber: Scissors, blade, electric shaver, horse brush
Winner: Barber. Real men don't have anything to do with hairclips.

2. Smalltalk
Stylist: Hair highlighting options, showbiz, hair care
Barber: Politics, boxing, how he fucked that other girl the other day on the very seat you're using
Winner: Barber. Hair highlights have no political ramifications. Barber chair sex escapades do.

3. Haircut Options
Stylist: Layered? Highlighted? Trimming? Bangs?
Barber: Barbers cut? (yes is the only answer)
Winner: Barber. Less options means less reasons for you to screw up your haircut.

4. Addons
Stylist: Shampoo, post-cut waxing/styling
Barber: Shampoo optional, full man-massage.
Winner: Barber, unless you're not confident of your sexuality enough.

Ass-swearing machine

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I checked my cellphone which i had placed in the pockets of my pants today. I saw that it had placed at least five calls, one of which was to my ex, for which she sent a nice big "you suck" SMS reply. All this happened with the knowledge of me locking the keypad of my phone before placing it inside my pocket.

In the brief span of my commute, my asscheeks was able to unlock the phone, make a few calls, and tell my ex something unsavory. Whowever said a certain level of intelligence is needed to use a cellphone needs to reconsider the case of my ass.

You had me at "Macedonia."

Sunday, July 19, 2009

I pointed out the red spaghetti sauce, the green salad leaves, and the blue table cloth. "This is Brutii, this is Scipii, and this is Julii," I told her. She went silent for a few nervous seconds and then pointed at the violet grape.

"SPQR!" she retorted.

I smiled. Game's on.

Egypt, I pointed out the Balsamic Vinegar and olive oil mixture. The napkin's Carthage, she told me. And then I held out the salad pincers at about the same time as she pointed out the brown bread. "Macedonia."

We were eating at Italianni's but for some reason the whole dinner set became coloured in the various factions of the Roman-era Europe.

At the end of it all we were laughing, slightly awkward at the fact that we had just done what could possibly be the geekiest thing that I have experienced in my years of going out on dates. And that both we didn't really mind.

So that night, I'm a nerd, and I was going out with a very geeky girl.

For those people who bother to ask,

p.s I think I'm in love.

Harry Potter Half Blood Prince Soundtrack OST

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Still on the topic of high wailing content movie soundtracks, we have Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince's soundtrack composed by Nicholas Hooper, whose name is a new entry into the Hollywood soundtrack community (as far as I'm concerned). Interestingly, this is the same guy who did the soundtrack to Order of the Phoenix, but since a lot of people like to imagine that movie never existed, I'll just say this is his first album.

Speaking of Harry Potter soundtracks, is it just me or are the soundtracks for these movie series getting more and more grandiose? If my estimations serve me right, by the end of the Deathly Hallows, we'd be listening to just pure wailing with full stringed orchestra, kinda like the Angels and Demons OST I mentioned yesterday.

Oh and in case you're wondering why I've been tinkering with OSTs lately, it's that I like listening to them while doing chores. It makes things more lively. If you don't believe me, try taking a dump while listening to Rocky's theme music.

It won't help the constipation, but sure as hell you'll be trying harder.

p.s. (that was a hypothetical example, I'm not constipated)

Direct download here

Angels and Demons OST by Hans Zimmer

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

One of the things I really liked with the Angels and Demons movie is that sometimes, even if a scene is drop dead boring, like a car starting, or a car doing a U-Turn or even the camera just zooming out of the Vatican, it simply becomes epic because of the powerful soundtrack that it uses. Hans Zimmer really outdid the "Screaming banshee choir" stereotype on this one. Not that I have any objections.

Full download available after the jump.

Rapidshare/Megaupload Download here

Notable Notes: 4 Years of College

Here's a brief summary of what happens in college (particularly La Salle), minus all the BS things they call "wholistic development" and "technical learning".

First Year - First year is just an extension of highschool in terms of subjects, with briefer courses, ROTC, which is like CAT/ACP but done on Saturdays. A sprinkle of basic major subjects can be found here and there, just to make sure people in your course didn't accidentally tick the wrong box in the application form. Classmates usually have a strong sense of affinity with each other, still working with the Highschool "we're the funnest section in school" dynamic, to the point that a Class president may even exist. A cold-war style arms race exists between students in terms of being able to "make pasikat" with the girls. Lunch in very large groups that for some reason, takes forever to decide where it needs to eat.

Second Year - Reality begins to sink in. In terms of subjects, the majors have taken the front act in terms of raping you academically. You'll probably notice that some of your classmates have unnoticeably just vanished from your building, while others have already been displaced by the failures they've incurred. Fun-loving block dynamic has also been replaced by the "hold on to the nearest bouyant classmate, we're in for a storm" mentality. The class president from the previous year forgets about ever having a class representative. From the looks of things, it's only a matter of time before there is no "class" left. The attitude of showing off fades. People who can't bow down and work in a group are usually wiped out fairly quickly in the game. Lunch in selected niches at a much more normal pace.

Third Year - The major subjects have taken their toll and it's not unusual to see blocks being too small to exist on their own. Blocks merge with each other, the way servers are merged when MMORPG players are starting to go extinct in a game. Your classes are basically comprised of a dozen or so people who are familiar to you and several faces who seem to appear in just that subject due to the high irregularity of their schedules. A general motif of "we will prevail" exists for those who are still in the block. The core "performers" in class are isolated and grouped with less capable ones to maximize the number of people who survive the semesters. At this point, people become too efficient with how they deal with problems as a group, capable of many unusual things like hive mentality, and "murder the nonperformer" acts. Lunch is already an optionally solitary activity. Also, practicum.

Fourth year - Major subjects have started to die down, to be replaced by minor subjects and a tentacled rape-monster we call Thesis. Blocks are practically irrelevant, as each student's social circle is reduced to two things: His barkada/thesisgroup, and the pyschiatrist/thesis adviser. Classes are usually attended only for formality's sake so very little unnecessary interaction exists between classmates. Very few of the original blockmembers exist, and people are starting to have a hard time who dropped out when. Other more stalwart individuals persist in existing, despite an assload of setbacks. Lunch is... lunch? what lunch?

Old Things

Friday, July 03, 2009

I gotta be honest with you.

I'm not really into changing my stuff every N years so that I can keep up with the fashion trend. Like if you need a guy who can tell you that the only thing a real man needs is three pairs of footwear (formal shoes, rubber shoes, slippers/sandals), I am that man. I'm not being preachy about it. I'm just saying anybody who comes to me saying he's flat broke and he's got more pairs of shoes than me, his plight's justifiable

(yeah, screw you and your Nikes bro).

Anyway, so yeah. The going thought is, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it's broke but manageable, don't replace it. If you're going to buy, buy sturdy. If you can apply that for everything, you'd be surprised how far your money can go without having to spend them on personal upkeep.

Here's a list of really old things that I still use on a daily basis:

The bag that I used to go to work today is a black Lacoste backpack I got during my last trip to the US. Around that time, the average American wouldn't even know who Osama Bin Laden was - at least not for another six months. Starting service in early 2001, I've been using this bag daily for school and work for the last 8 years and from the looks of it, it might as well hold up for another 8. Runner up is my Eastpack backpack which my mom got for me, which I got around the same time as the Lacoste backpack. I just don't use it as often because it's pretty big, but I can tell you it's got a lot of mileage as well.

My wristwatch is a DW-9000 Casio G-Shock. The first time I wore it, Fidel Ramos was still president, I was still in puberty, and people still generally believed Gloria Arroyo is just a harmless wallflower senator. 1998 was a pretty messed up year, I tell you. Anyway, since then, this watch has gone into countless pools, under the sea, inside showers. The paints have long since chipped off and the protective body has about a dozen scars and countless scratches, making this the Spartan King Leonidas of watches. I guess when Casio says it's a tough product, they fucking mean it.

The monitor I'm using at home is a Hewlett Packard monitor we got as a package with our computer back in 1999. The computer it came with is a 400mhz Pentium 3 workstation that's long since broken down due to power supply problems. The monitor's endured, however, first being used by my younger sister in our home and later on by me at our flat in Manila. There are sign's of aging, with the monitor having some brightness adjustment issues, but it's nothing the videocard can't compensate with. The outside casing looks horribly dirty too, but it's not bad, considering nowadays the lifespan of a monitor is no longer than that of a hamster left to the care of an ADHD kid. An average CRT will last 3 years. Mine's 10 years old and still working strong.

The keyboard I used to type half of this article is an NEC keyboard. To make you understand how old the keyboard is, it came with a computer package boasting 122MHz, 128MB ram, and 1 Gig of hard disk space. You read that right. HARD. DISK. SPACE. It included a 28.8kbps modem too, the first modem to ever take me to the net. When I first started using the keyboard, I didn't even hit puberty yet. April 1996. 80% of the stuff I put on my blog were written using that keyboard, along with just as many of my long stories. Best part of it is the keyboard is still in almost perfect condition despite the abuse and the filth that has accumulated under the keys through the years. Only the 'A' key has faded. Meanwhile they keyboard I'm using now's starting to breakdown already after using it for five months. New isn't necessarily better.

The bag I use for out-of-towners is an Orlando Magic varsity sports bag, and it's even older than the NEC keyboard albeit if only by a few months. I was grade six when I first got the bag. GRADE 6. I think 1995 was the last time Magic got into the finals, until this year. I'm just thinking, if I hold on to this a bit longer, there'd come a time this bag will be a championship bag or something. And even then, I'd probably still not wash it.

Do you guys have old stuff that you still use?

Thank You, Apple

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

When asked about what I look for in the ultimate phone, I answer without a second thought: "I want it to be able to make toast." (see my 2006 article)

Of course, being the design genius that I am, nobody in this era's still figured that it's what all of us want, we just don't know it yet. That said, nobody's gotten even remotely close to developing a prototype yet.


Props to the guys at Apple. While the new IPhone 3GS isn't exactly the first and ultimate in voice calls and pastry toasting, it's getting us closer to that reality.

Article: IPhone 3GS keeps you warm by overheating.


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