Just Shoot Me

People think of the dumbest things to be proud of. First there's the spelling bee, which is, as I have previously mentioned in my articles, the dumbest contest in the world next to breaking the record for eating the most number of shitburgers (if you dont know what shitburgers are, go ask the Germans, and don't forget to mention shay-zer)

Then there's having tall kids. Parents act like they actually did something to make their kids taller. What, did you make him masturbate more often than other kids so he became taller? Are you giving him elephant growth hormones? No? THEN SHUT THE F*** UP and admit that it's just genes you inherited from your dinosaur ancestors you lumbering sloth. (and what the hell is up with people thinking that flogging the dolphin will make you taller? If that's so true, why are Asians smaller with all their hentai? They even have three storey shops dedicated to their sick sad shows. They should be giants by now if that were true.)

Then, there are those hobbies people are proud of that are so f'ed up, they just had to turn it into a form of art. Case in point? Photography.

Think about it. Photography is just one button press away from just "looking at things." I take it that since I can press a button. And *oh dang I'm proud of this one* I can "look at things" with my eyes, anybody can do it too. Seriously, nobody wants to see the sunsets from behind a monitor that we all know will render us sterile someday. Nobody wants to see your shots of cars passing by a busy highway. You're eating up webspace. Do us a favor, next time you're taking pictures of cars, make sure you get that "approaching at high speed" feel to it.

Speaking of shoot, I want to shoot the asshole who invented digital cameras. Because back when film was expensive to develop, people took time to choose what they wanted to take pictures of. Nowadays, taking pictures of anything from vomit to people making out has become art, worst bit of it is that assholes form all over the world go online, make photoblogs and call it their f'ing "hard work"

Listen, assholes. It's not hard work to press a button, plug a usb drive and plug a few more buttons without even utilizing 2% of your brain's mass. You're using a machine that already does everything for you. You dont even have to focus the lens anymore. You dont need skill to use it. I'm betting women using a vibrator use up more skill points than some schmoe taking pictures of beaches and prostitute-looking friends doing artsy poses.

Nobody ever calls using their cellphone "art". Because it's not. It's called using a cellphone. And the same goes for "using your camera." I bet that people who think they can do so well in photography say so because they don't have anything else to excel in.

Either that or they're just douchebags.

I so hate people who want to become douchebags.