More Stuff I Want To Do Before I Die

I'd like to take the time to add something to the stuff I want to do before I die. I want to own a horse. I want to be able to ride it around Manila and after I want to get hungry, I want to be able to do this:

If a car behind me tries to push the line by honking I'd have the horse take a crap on the hood of his civic (I assume the typical asshole's car is a civic) and give him a takeout happy meal he'd never forget. By happy meal, I mean a heap of steaming horse shit. Now if only they can make those horse saddles with cup holders...

On another note, I bet it'd be really charming to do anything on horseback. Running the red light. Parking in a mall. Hell, I can probably even pickup hookers in QAve and still look goddamn gentry about it. "Pray I ask for fornication services, madame?"

Maybe that's the solution to our problems. We need more horses on the street. Less carbon footprints and less streetpeople, because who would want to wander aimlessly on the streets if they're filled with horse crap? (answer: not me)

Yeah, you're probably thinking, that'll be the day. You know what? Fuck you. I'll do this. After I do, I'll post pictures here. Or you'll probably just hear about it on primetime news. And then I'll go to your house to talk things over - but only so my horse can take a shit on your doorstep.

Because that's how gentlemen roll.