Game Concept

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Noli Me Tange-Wrestling: Battle Royale (Audiencia)


Freedom. Honor. Glory. Historical accuracy. Those are just some of the things that you won't find in this game. Let's face it. Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterimo were tiring novels that you wouldn't pick up at a bookstore if it were at the 20 peso bargain bin if they weren't required in school (specially if they're in Spanish).

This game discards all the boring aspects and just pits the characters against one another in a cut-throat competition that's indio-friendly. Who will be the most pimptastic character of them all? The choice is in your hands.

Playable Characters:

P. Damaso - Oversized friar with an exploding bible (see Rizal The Movie Trailer; The "ang impyerno ay narito naaaaah!" *boom* part. )

Kabesang "Killer" Tales - He took Simoun's gun and now he's the most wanted man in all of San Lucas. Also he likes to put soil on the mouths of his defeated foes (fatality!)

Elias - Ang Bangkero ng Katarungan. Parurusahan ka nya sa ngalan ng kanyang sagwan.

Taong Madilaw - He can summon large stones that can crush the enemy in one blow. There's a chance that the "panghugos" will kill him too. Actually it should kill him all the time. Also, he's yellow.

Kapitan Tiago - Think Sagat, but with slightly more hair. Also, he's tall. That's about it. He's incapable of impregnating his wife, and that should make him one angry captain. Right?

Simoun/Ibarra - Once the "rage" gauge charges, Ibarra transforms into Simoun who can use guns, bombs, and Basilio to destroy his foes.

Padre Salvi - Has a huge scepter that he likes to use on women.

Crazy Sisa - Her hair does half the fighting. Nobody wants to fight with a crazy woman. Nobody. Also, she can summon Crispin, the Bell Master's ghost.

Pilosopo Tacio - Kinda like Dalshim - enlightened, subtle, and breathes motherfucking fireballs to incinerate those that disagree with his ideas.

Final Boss: Governador General - Think Kapitan Tiago, twice as ripped, and with a prehensile penis. He's that dangerous.


FiSHCAKE said...


dont let capcom steal your ideas!

Jherskie said...

how about Maria Clara? fan service, jet-man, don't forget. XD

anon of switzerland said...

Tarsilo and Bruno fucker?!

Everyone's Uke said...

Technically Basilio stopped the explosion in El Fili. Why not Plasido Penitente instead of Basilio?

And don't forget the Donas (Victorina and Consolacion) who are interchangable mid-battle to either nag the opponent to death or turn them into whimpering pussy-whipped saps? 8D


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