Long Bond Paper Sucks

What the hell is a long bond paper and why do we have to use it? Did some asshole secretary decide one day that the short bond paper was just not cutting it quite enough in terms of storage space? What's an additional paragraph anyway? It's not like an additional 2 inches gave the goddamn paper exponentially more space. This ain't computer hardware. We're talking about grounded up tree corpses here.

Back during my elementary days, a teacher who asked her students to use long bond paper was definitely a teacher who I could not possibly get along with. I can only assume she's an environment hater, or at least, by using a longer piece of paper, she can show to the world she hates trees slightly more than everyone else.

All my envelopes and folders are letter sized (short), and as much as possible I only use letter sized bond paper, on the account that the shorter the paper you are using, the easier it will be to NOT CRUMPLE THE PAPER LIKE ITS GARBAGE.

In this day and age, usage of long bond paper should be all but eradicated. Think about it. When was the last time you _absoultely_ had to use something longer than a short bond paper for something other than obnoxious teachers trying to preserve the lazy tradition of not having to switch typewriting paper slightly a bit longer by using extended paper on their typewriters? That's what it's all about anyway right? RIGHT ASSHOLES?

...

Okay, I was supposed to write about Pepsi, but I saw a long bond paper beside my computer, so there.

Maaan, I still hate Pepsi.