Tits and Roses

I bet one reason men never have debuts is that if they would have one, there'd be a segment called 18 tits. But 18 tits would only be, like, 9 women, so the debutant will be sad because girls get 18 roses and he gets only half the count.

I don't even get why us men are always crazy in getting tits - and why very few of us ever get any. Those things outnumber us two to one.

Meanwhile, homosexual molesters in public trains are about one in every thousand but it seems like there's one every time I ride the fucking MRT.

Speaking of molesters, why is it that everytime there's a TV report on an apprehended rapist/attempting rapist, he gets beaten up by everybody else inside the jail cell? It's like everybody inside never did something as horrible - like murdering his own family or something.

Here's an idea for our jails. Why not teach those guys english and let them become callcenter agents? I bet if there are people who'd handle anger better, it's those guys. They'd just hit the pause button, stand up, get something really hard - and then kill whoever's nearby. That's like two birds with one stone right there. Prisoner population control AND additional income.

Speaking of population control, instead of promoting safe sex, why don't the government just promote masturbation? It's like the safer, more efficient, faster alternative to sex. The government can stop handing out pamphlets on condoms and just give out kleenex boxes with the picture of a Viva Hotbabe on the side. I bet that'd satisfy a lot of people.

Now that we're on the subject of tissue, ever thought of that hell is like? I'm not really sure bit I think it may involve having a bad case of the shits in a public place and finding out that the tissue roll is empty. That'd be a bitch.

But you know what'd be more of a bitch? Like if a friend of yours takes an unexpected duke, go to the cubicle beside his and everytime his chocolate log hits the water, go play the Final Fantasy victory song (or the 20th Century Fox logo theme, whichever he can relate to) I bet that'd suck.

But then again you'd smell like his turdbabies too, so it's double suck.

Ever thought about what happens to the shit of people inside a submarine? Like it'd get release where there's really high pressure so the turd will shrink to a very small size - maybe enough to pass through a filter. And then you think about drinking from the faucet - you could be drinking an Ensign's compacted dinocrap.

Okay I think i can stop now, unless of course I can make a joke in less than 30 seconds about the Tyrannosaur's stubby arms.

Shit I can't.