Cynical Red Answers A Survey

Monday, February 12, 2007

People have been requesting for more Surveys As Answered By A Man Of Grease (Taong Grasa) but this one will be a bit different. I'll try to answer this one as the future great ruler of the universe and everything existing - i.e. me.

1. Things that have been keeping you busy?
BRB. Angel Locsin wants me in her room *rolls eyes* again. Women.

2. How long do you want to live?
Long enough to get back at my future children by being legally entitled to urinate in public without shame or reprimand. That way, when I say "You piss me off." People will take my words seriously and move out of the way.

3. Is it okay to hate people?
Only as long as you eat the vegetables and sidedishes they usually come with. Also, don't forget to put leftovers in a doggie bag so you don't look wasteful - and when nobody is looking, toss it out the window of your car on the way home.

4. What have you been up to lately?
Check my pants and see where I stand. ;)

5.What do you want people to say about you 50 years from now?
By my open casket I want people weeping and saying "I will miss this guy because he ruled so much." Then I'll be laughing at them and say "hahaha Just kidding guys, I'm not dead yet." And they'd laugh too because they'll think it's a trick - but it's not. I'm really dead already and they're just seeing a ghost. Then they'll have heartattacks and all die. And we can all go have drinks in the afterlife or something.

6. What kind of girls/guys do you like?
I like women the same way I like ice. Smooth, clear, soothing, crushed, and inside my freezer for easy access.

7. Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people. What can you say about this?
Great minds dont discuss anything with anybody because nobody ever understands them. Average minds think they're discussing, but they're just parroting what they heard on TV. Small minds dont discuss at all. They just babble and agree on one thing - that what they're doing is tantamout to discussing. And you're an idiot for not being able to figure that out on your own.

8. Do you ever take time to smell the flowers?
Hmm. Wait. No.

9. Your friends are in a tent and its on fire, who do you save?
The world - by not doing anything to rescue idiots stupid enough to die in a fire as small as a tent. That's basically like drowning in a kiddie pool - without water. We don't want people like that to have kids. Or be friends with anybody. Especially me.

10. What do you think about love?
Everybody else has thoughts about this trite subject. Go ask them instead.

11. What's your favorite cereal?
Kellogs Frosties reportedly causes involuntary orgasms when regularly ingested because it kicks so much ass, it actually forces your sexual glands to produce orgasmic fluids.

12. Do you notice how often you say "like"?
Do you like how often you say "notice"? Who cares?

13. Buried or cremated?
Scattered all over my hometown, but not like cremated or anything. That'd be gross.

14. How do you want to be remembered?
I want people to sigh everytime they remember me after I'm dead and say "That guy sure owed me a lot of money..."

15. What part of your body do you like the most?
Enough about me. What do you like about me the most? *wink wink* *suggestive position*

16. Are you good looking?
The best this universe has to offer, baby.

17. Do you consider yourself romantic?
I put the Man in Romantic.

Actually there were more questions. I fell asleep trying to answer them all. Shitty surveys are still shitty no matter how well you answer them. It's like trying to make a beauty queen out of a monkey - you just can't. Es imposible para mi.

Fuck surveys, this will be the last time.

I cry now.

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