The Theory of Bioerudition

Friday, June 16, 2006

The Theory of Bioerudition

Let's get our head out of the anger posts and comedy posts for a while to delve on something a bit more scholarly. But since we're already into the topic of human excrete, let's start from that point.

I dont know if youve tried this already but if you take a dipper of warm water and dip the hand of a sleeping person inside, there's a good chance that he'll either wet his bed or wake up with a strong call of nature within him.

How do you explain this?

I have a theory that I've been playing with for years now. I'll call it the theory of bioerudition, named so because I cant think of something that sounds cooler right now.

So here's what I think. The real reason why a person suddenly feels the need to urinate when you dip his hand in warm water specially when he is sleeping is that we still have leftovers of a hardwired primal instinct developed by man during the ice age to urinate in warm waters to prevent loss of latent heat.

The same principle can be applied for the behaviour of certain people who get the urge to piss when they see, hear or feel running water, though this time, it's more of a matter of hygiene. This, can be seen with other animals though not as specific as with running water.

Nobody teaches a dog to set aside a place to do his dirty thing, he's born with that knowledge and doesnt have to learn that taking a dump all over his habitat is unhealthy. He gets it right the first time around.

So by definition, bioerudition is the passing of hardcoded higher concept knowledge biologically from parent to offspring over a long chain of generations to increase the probability of racial survival. It's evolution in a mental path.

In the near future, the most essential of our knowledges could be transmitted biologically and no longer though latent learning. I believe that a child learning how to read 2000 years ago would have a harder time than a child learning how to read in the present day, because some information has already been engraved in our heads. In the future, not knowing how to read by age 3 will be deviant. A simple survey can prove this trend.

So why does this happen? I'd like to call it the aircraft carrier principle. An aircraft taking off from a carrier needs to gain speed using its thrusters so it can gain self-sustained flight as soon as possible, and hopefully, soon enough to not crash in the sea. In nature, the faster you learn how to do things on your own, the better your chances are in survival. So if you're 30 and you still live 80% of your life in the living room of your parent's house, you have to practice a bit more of the aircraft carrier principle.

So maybe you're asking, if this sort of trend happens for behaviour that can increase survival, why do we still have the lukewarm-water-urination behavior when it's no longer the ice ages? Pissing in cold water can't freeze you to death anymore, in short, the behaviour is useless. The answer can be found in men's nipples and the snake's false legs. Adaptation is a passive organism activity. It only corrects things that are detrimental to survival. If at the start of mankind's existence men did have mammary glands too (I can explain why this is so in some other post if you remind me). But since human males have been given a hunter task, adaptation eventually got rid of the twins because boobies hinder hunting activites. But after it got smaller, it reached a point that it was no longer a hindrance, so it stopped getting smaller. Since the nipples neither help nor hinder, they were retained. Since lukewarm-water-urination is neither useful nor useless, it's retained as well. Perhaps if in the future urinating in lukewarm water can get you killed, this will be etched off in our brains as well.

It's amazing how much of your behavior is not really under your control, but are effects and side effects of your primeval instincts. A simple day to day observation and usage of out-of-the-box thinking can show you how much of you are being controlled by your basic animal instinct to survive.

After all, you didn't think man became able to feel love, hate, hunger, pain, reverence just for the heck of it, did you? There are no accidents in the road of evolution. Urinating due to fear might as well just be one way our ancestors tried to ward off predators by foul stench. Skunks and squids do it too. Hell, even certain species of plants can do it - and they dont even have brains.

For all we know, the concept of free will could only be a false idea nature has given us to feel that we're in control and disregard the intrinsic knowledge that we're still just biological machines with just one objective: racial survival.

As you finish reading this think of the following human activities and try to explain why we feel so collectively, in a survival point of view.

- we find all babies cute but not as much anymore when they grow older
- people faint when they get too scared of something
- certain types of curvateurs make a person of the opposite sex pleasing
- you think all of this is bullcrap and that you behave the way you do because you want to

None of this is of course backed by actual data of course. But it's amusing sometimes to find how much a thing makes much so much sense and be nonsensical at the same time, isn't it?

June 12, 2006

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