Too Retarded for Literature? Try Haiku.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Alternative title: Non-Japanese Haiku is shit stupid.

Here's one way to keep me away from reading your private stuff: write them in Haiku format (5-7-5 syllables in three lines respectively). I'll avoid it like STD. No information is important enough that I'd risk my sense of taste by reading the shittiest of poetry.

I was browsing through PinoyExchange Lit forum again today (as you might recall this was the same section where I got into mental fisticuffs with some ex-Malate Folio sheep). There was a thread there about Haikus.

I think part of me died while reading that thread. I have one word: artistry. That's what the works there could possibly not have. Please attend my partial funeral to be announced soon.

But first things first. I am not against poetry. I have read several good poems in my lifetime and by several I mean a very select few. Metered poetry that follows rules (and granted, a restrictive, artistic violation of certain rules) can be beautiful. Wit and tact in the content is always a good thing.

Unfortunately 95% of poetry posted online are ruining it for the remaining 5%. It's like digging a septic tank for gold dust. "Measure, wit, tact, restrictive and artistic" are words you'll never be using to describe the shit mountain that's majority of poetry.

And then there's Haiku.

Haiku is the special olympics of poetry. Even retards can get good at it. I'm not generalizing though. A gleaming majority can still suck at it and they avail of that right to suckerage most of the time.

Anybody can
Write Haikus you just have to
stop at the sevent -

It has three rules.

Haiku should be about nature.
Haiku should have a measure of 5-7-5.
Haiku should be written by somebody does not breath through his mouth.

Apparently, only the second rule applies now. Here's an actual reply to my simple query:

Red: What's the use of form rules when they get broken all too often anyway?

Pexer: Yes, they are. But aren't we allowed to break some rules? At least that's what I think. And I don't want to be too traditional.

Motherfucker, there are only 3 rules. You broke 2 of them! If nobody is following anything anymore you might as well stop using "Haiku" to label your shitty work.

I say leave Haiku to the Japanese. Nihonggo is a language where a single character accounts for a single syllable with multiple meanings which in turn makes the form both aesthetically sound and literally deep. English or Filipino is anything but fit for this purpose.

It's not so hard to think about it. If you have nothing good to say - shut up. If your poetry has no good contents and is aimlessly written by using syllable count whose purpose you dont even understand, don't write, period.

Some people.

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