The Real Games.

I might have missed out on a lot of things during this lifetime. Granted, I do not consider myself as the luckiest man alive. I do not have everything. But What I do have, I count. For one, I have a complete childhood. You name a childhood game, I've played it. Hell, maybe if you challenged me right now, I'd still be able to know my pamato from my pananggulo. I'd give your top a tapyas and my spider will kill yours with one katis. Still following, bitches? I didn't think so.

Touching, tex, dampa, trumpo, gagamba and other native games - those were the kickass games of my time. I'd gladly skip 30 minutes of eating during lunchtime just to be able to dedicate my 1.5 hour lunchbreak to these games.

And you'd think, Jesus! Jet, those things are so outdated. We're like hightech now. High-tech is for the better. Right?

Wrong.

Unless you know what games I'm talking about, you wouldn't know why I think they're better. Now for the benefit of the ignorant and those who have learned to forget, I've made 3 pound by pound comparisons of pussified games (read: games used for training whiny bitches who will soon grow up to be emo-drenched sissies) that the kids play now over games that we used to have - the kickass games.

Comparison 1: Tamiya vs Dampa

Tamiya is a game where you buy an f'ing expensive plastic car that runs on batteries, look for an oversized track where you can place your "customized" car and let it compete against another "customized" car. Note that the word customized here is loosely used because the parts all come from the same manufacturer, the differences hardly matter, and the parts are so damn limited, you might as well stick with what you already have - that way, you spend less on parts and more on batteries that you'll be draining anyway because of the "high-torque" motors inside the plastic shells. Winner gets to be called uh well winner. That's about it.

Dampa is a game where you buy/get/scavenge for rubberbands that run on compressed air you produce by hitting the floor (dampa). The air will push the rubber forward slightly which you follow up with another cushion of air. Different stances can be used to fan air from the floor, almost as varied as martial arts techniques. You can play on any flat surface and race to the finish with anybody you see with enough rubberbands (and wind) to challenge you. First band to cross the finish line wins. Rubberband of the losing side, will then belong to the winner. That way, you're always playing for pinkslips.

Higher stakes, cheaper cost, more environmentally friendly and requires more discipline: Dampa wins.

Comparison 2: Beyblade vs. Trumpo/ Basagan Trumpo

Beyblade is a game where you buy a shit-expensive plastic top that spins for no more than 5 seconds, play in an arena the size of a small pan pizza and then "duke it out" by using a springaction cord to spin the top and let it collide with another top. Game usually ends when both tops stop at the same time in a draw or when one player dies of a heartattack from all the sreaming (yes, screaming at the top makes it go faster, thanks Dave.)

Trumpo is a game where you buy a cheap handcarved wooden top that balances on 1.5 inches of cold steel nail. The wooden body is sometimes coated with candle to prevent the nails of other tops from doing damage while thumbtacks are sometimes attached to increase the spinning momentum of the top. Other tops called "Palakol" have flat nails instead of fintipped nails for more unpredictability (kangkarot movement) and chisel-like behavior against the wooden bodies of the tops. The tops are spun using one yard of lashing cord, giving the top a maximum spin time of no less than two minutes.

There are different techniques in spinning the top using the lashing cord from voltes v to the rather embarassing tirang babae. The goal is to push away tops from a handdrawn box on the battle floor area where all the tops not in turn will rest. Tops that are pushed away will be "punished". If there are no tops pushed away, any othe player can catch the top using his lashing cord (the top must be caught spinning) using a variety of techniques as well, including the one hand catch where you catch a falling top spinning at unbelievable speeds with the nail pointed at the palm of your hand.

If the top was able to push away other non-spinning tops, the pushed tops can be hammered with the other top on its wooden body for max damage (palakol types excel in shattering wooden bodies). If no top gets thrown out, another player tries to outdo the rest of the tops in a round-robin phase.

Game ends when somebody gets pierced by a nail or when a top can no longer spin from the damage it has sustained.

Obviously, the winner is the one with actual gameplay. Trumpo wins.

Comparison 3: Pokemon and Sabong ng Gagamba

Pokemon is not a game. It is a video game. You catch animals and make them fight with each other in a virtual world. Card adaptations exist but it's not too different, except cards get more expensive than multiple game catridges required to "catch them all". A lot of merchandise can be bought for htis game, but non actually let you play the game for real. Afterall, these animals are just make believe.

Sabong ng Gagamba is a lot like Pokemon. Except everything is real. You carry your monsters in your pocket, challenge any Sabongero you meet to the death, and then later collect more monsters from a bukid or a gagamba vendor who can do the collection for you.

Fighting spiders have three different classes, as with any fighting sport: payat, normal and botsog (3 pesos, 5 pesos and 8 pesos during my time, respectively). Spiders have different breeds as well, ranging from gagambang araw, rapitik, gagambang hari, gagambang pula, etc. (No, we dont play with blackwidows). You can train your spiders with basic fighitng exercises using your finger. You can make him grow stronger by feeding him cotton. Or you can grant him immunity from pain with bayabas leaves. Spiders are usually stored inside multi-partitioned matchboxes resembling "pokeballs'" of pokemon.

A fight consists of two spiders matched on a barbeque stick where they will fight anywhere from 8 inches to 3 feet above the ground. A typical match can last for as fast as 15 seconds (my record fight time for a win) and as long as 30 minutes (in a very equal match). Fights are always to the death and ends when one spider dies or gets ensnared fully by the other spider - where he will die by being eaten anyway. Losing spider becomes instant prize for the winner as food or target practice later on. Monetary bets are not unknown.

Winner of this comparison? Economic and realistic. Sabong ng gagamba wins.

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Modern technology aint bad. But you want your games to be really exciting, you have to keep it real some. I swear, if I didnt play these games when I was younger, I'd probably be in a very sad state right now, like in prison, homeless, or dead.

Somebody should make an anime for these kinds of things. I'm serious. More details on a future post.

Special note:
Some rules or details may deviate from version to version but that's about the jist of those games. As Duke from GIJoe says, "Knowing is half the battle! Yo Joe!" Because here in Public Static, I don't just want you to laugh. I want you to stay educated.