Some Exceptionally Bad Album Covers

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Thousands of records come out every year and each of them is required to have a cover that captures the essence of music inside. We can all remember the immortalized swimming baby from Nirvana or the demonic images of Meatloaf's albums, but those are the good few that get remembered. There're good covers, there are bad covers.

This is a short showcase of the ugly covers everybody wants to forget.

Ken: By Request Only

I can stare at the face of Ken in this cover for hours and still not figure out what his expression is trying to say. The closest and best I've got so far is that "I think somebody just shoved a screwdriver up my bunghole."

But I'm not too sure.

"Got any requests so far Ken? No? Well keep at it, soon enough you'll evoke pity."

Heavy Load: Stronger Than Evil

Speaking of pity, is it just me or does this guy in the cover look like he's less menacing and more like he's in great pain? I'm no expert in Heavy Metal covers but the last feeling I would like to evoke when making covers is pity.


Riot: Fire Down Under

The only thing that can beat a pityful demon when making rock covers is having something very unrelated to the theme grace your cover and make that object as cute as possible.

I'm not sure what went into the heads of the marketing people here but I'm guessing it's a last minute attempt to snatch the preteen girl demographic away from Backstreet Boys.

Suffice to say, it failed.

Vind I Seglen: KJEL KRAGHE

Going for the opposite of the previous album, Vind invokes the primalmost fear in everybody while trying to sell his album about Sunday cookouts and starry skies: A white aging Godzilla wading around your favorite seaspot. Let's just say when grandpa has to go, the place becomes an ecological "wasteland", and literally.

Those sailboats have a good reason to race: dear life and hygiene.

Millie Jackson: Who cares what this album is?!

Speaking of people who badly have to go, we have Millie Jackson, whose level of tastelessness has transcended that of all other artists who have gone before and after her.

Okay. Seriously, does seeing a woman taking a dump (see expression) make you want to listen to what she has to sing/say? Saying this album is crap is somewhat complementing the cover.

Part 2 to be posted tomorrow. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go throw up.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

This cracked me up. Thanks. :)


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