Exceptionally Bad Album Covers (part 2)

Thursday, June 21, 2007

It took me longer to recuperate from my post two days ago. The images, how they haunt me. Anyway, we might as well get to the second part of our feature.

Freddie Gage: All My Friends Are Dead

Long before Simple Plan started whining about their fathers or Panic At The Disco started ranting about having penises attached to their bodies at birth, there was Freddie Gage.

This is yet another textbook example of how shitty artists employ the element of pity to get people to buy their shit. The album title is something I'd less expect from a recording and more from the signage of a street beggar.

The Ministers Quartet - Let Me Touch Him

Four men asking to touch another man. The idea is wrong in so many levels, I'm not even sure how the producers missed the subtle pederastic context of the whole cover.

Ok ok, so maybe the idea of religious worship is there. Maybe if they didn't fucking make the word "minister" so damn small it would be much easier to tell they're trying to pray and not trying to perform homosexual advances.

As Mais Belas Histórias - O velho, o menino e o burro

The cover got me curious so I had to research a bit into this cover. It's actually Brasilian and the title translates to - wait for it -

The old man, the boy, and the horse.

Shit, I didn't expect that. You know what I do expect?

Child molestation involving a horse in a manner I'd rather not delve on. I wouldn't let any kid I know near that old man.

Richard and Willie - Funky Honkey, Nasty Nigger

Okay, let me just let this out. Who the FUCK gets a blowjob while holding two ventriloquist dolls?

I'm really out of words for this one. The facial expressions kinda just put in a punchline of their own. So, feel free to just look at the picture and imagine a funny remark being said about it.

Won't matter. You're still laughing.

Colonel Sanders - Tijuana Picnic
Knock knock.

Who's there?


Tijuana who?

Tijuana listen to shitty music by a Colonel famous for recipes?

The Louvin Brothers

S'right folks. Satan is real. And apparently he likes wearing white evangelist clothing. Talk about getting the wrong impression.

Okay so maybe theyre not really Satan. But then again, why are they so happy about being in hell. And why are they inviting people to join them?

You can think the whole day about really bad evangelical album covers and this is probably the worst you can think of.

Various Retards - Crying Demons

The label below caught my attention. "Amazing recordings of demons speaking through people who are possessed by them" and then there's a picture of young Urkel behind the spammed title.

How do they sell this shit? I wouldn't get this album seeded in bittorrent if I added porn in it. It's not even music.

If I wanted incoherent people sounding possessed, I'd go to Music21 Karaoke lounge at 3 in the morning.

Mike Crain - God's Power

Just no. Fuck. No.

I'm not a fan of Mike Myers either.

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