Whoring Out The Delivery

We got a special mail from McDonalds today. With it came coupons for free Big Macs, full combo meals and a personalized card saying:

"We wish to thank you for patronizing 8MCDO service 24/7. Let this Be Our Guest Cards be our humble way of thanking you for your loyalty. Please be assured that 8MCDO will be of service to you anytime, anywhere."

At the bottom, it's supposedly signed by Kenneth Yang, president of Mcdonald's Philippines.

You might be thinking, we get coupons all the time. What's so special about that? Free 70-peso burgers out of nowhere. Not discounts. Freebies. Now you ask why?

Here's why - because of the entire client list of 8MCDO (that's the whole of metro manila), apparently our two-room condo unit ranked as one of the top ten households with the most number of deliveries. In case you're not from around the Philippines , Metro Manila or just plain special, 8-MCDO is a special delivery line for all McDonald's branches in the National Capital Region of the Philippines.

Top ten. And there's just two of us here.

Now I'm not sure how you can measure how much of a couch potato a person living in a certain household is but I think it's a good idea to put in "ranking as top 10 delivery whores" as a very reliable metric.

If that's not enough, consider that deliveries made for when we're in Cavite arent even included. And that McDonald's isn't the only store we call for deliveries. (we have a very extensive list at home that gets updated more often than this blog) . I bet if we tallied those up, we'd be getting more than just a few free burgers.

I'm thinking a free 8MCDO motocycle, complete with personal delivery guy to run my errands. (like: DELIVER ME TO MALL OF ASIA! 28 minutes or less, bitch!)

But why Jet? Why not just cook? Simple. If I cook, I'll have to do grocery. I have to do the food prep. I have to do the dishes afterwards. And if I screw up the way I usually do, either I starve or get sent to the hospital for poisoning. Meanwhile, McDO offers food fit for 2 meals in every delivery.

Since the doctors of the hospital get tired of seeing you relieve yourself, perform gastric lavage, and examine your stool every other day, I'd just have to make do with fast food. Either that or I'm just too lazy. Why waste time cooking when your fingers could be pushing the remote control to channelsurf for another 30 minutes?

In the future, cooking will be pushbutton. But delivery will be telepathic. I consider myself as a very practical person always seeking the optimal way to do things. I need to get my stomach stuffed and I don't want to move.

So fuck pushing buttons. I'm still not cooking.

note: I'm back from HK but I'll be going to Caylabne this weekend so no updates again.