And then there were tears

I live near a well-known university. I live so near it, I sometimes wake up to the morning bell (sometimes, the Angelus - the 6pm Angelus) . That also means that despite me being out of school already for quite some time now, I can still observe student behavioral patterns the way I observe mold growing out of stale bread.

I was on my way home today when I encountered a girl crying, surrounded by friends who look like cannibals going to a tearjerking dinner. Now, a college girl crying can be caused by a million possible things, half of them can be found in the student registry under the gender 'M'.

This post is going to be about what I overheard as I walked past the girl. I heard three words:

"I failed PSYCH"

I found myself remembering the good old college days. Back then, there's no other day more entertaining than Course Card distribution day. It's like the whole school turns into a CHINOVELA/MEXICANOVELA bonanza, with Maria del Bobo and Dao Ming Zeropointzero crying left and right at every corner. Justice gets handed out in a number even the dumbest can understand.

0.0, you fail at life - intellectual justice has been served. I guess that's the worst thing you can become: stupid enough to fail a subject but just smart enough to realize you've bombed it.

If I was given liberty to do so, I'd declary every CCard day a holiday. It'd call it "All Stupid's Day" for it is the only day of the year where everybody come to mourn the stupid side of mankind.

Seriously. There's so much crying inside the campus every distribution day, you'd think the black death of ignorance passed through and killed off every first abnormal kid in class.

Well more like 10-20% of every class.

The bottom ones.

I mean why are they crying? I've failed a subject before. I dont know everything about failing but I do know one thing about it:

IT DOESNT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT.

Don't act like somebody snatched your passing grade out of your pocket on your way to school. It doesn't work that way. You skipped those classes. You bombed that last formal paper. You failed to answer the questions. Why the fuck are you surprised and teary eyed when your teacher hands your eggs to you? (read: 0.0) You copulated with the chicken, expect the eggs.

It's like a teenage mom, 9 months pregnant, in the delivery room screaming "HOW CAN I BE PREGNANT?" I've heard of delayed reaction, but this is like having a new timezone for stupidity that goes months behind actual time.

As for the girl who I saw earlier, she failed Psychology - a generic subject that has 60% passing. I cant even narrate to you how hard it is for a normal student to fail that subject. Unless you have excess chromosomes, a predisposition to take teachers hostages for no reason at all, or 6 children waiting for you to bring home the bacon, I can't think of other reasons to fail. Even varsity basketball players pass that subject - and they dont even know how to read!

Thinking positively though, least she's not as delayed in her reaction as the rest of the celebrants of All Stupid's Day. Course cards arent due till next week.

Talk about anticipatory anxiety.