(alternative title: How to end a date while looking like the perfect bitch from hell)
Because here in Public Static, I want to be as equally discriminating as possible, I've decided to write something ladies can use for a change. Here is the top ten ways I can think of to blast your date back to the primeval ooze he crawled out of:
10 - I'd like to take you out, but the way I'm thinking it, I'm not carrying enough bullets.
9 - My dog called. He says he doesnt want any more pussies inside the house.
8 - If I turn you down will I be liable to the Cruelty To Animals act?
7 - Does your face hurt? It's killing me...
6 - Thanks for the date. The image of your face will help me control my appetite for my diet.
5 - I swear, when they said all your good qualities I didn't catch the hint of sarcasm.
4 -Have you considered Priesthood as a vocation?
3 -I expect more from a carrot so quite frankly, I'm not disappointed.
2 - I'll call you when I'm free - free to commit homicide and get away with it.
And the top 1 is:
1- You made me turn into a lesbian. Thanks.
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