Real Men Swallow

How many times have you, in your childhood, been scolded for trying to swallow gum? A handful, I suppose. There are more terror stories about people who swallow gum than stories about people having a successful job after graduating as "game designers". And for this reason, we all grow up with an engraved fear of accidentally swallowing gum.

Well tell you what, I'm more badass than you. I swallow gum. And not "by accident" like you pussies. I swallow it just to show you how kick ass I am. I remember one time, I was faced with a bunch of rabid ninjas. I took out a stick of gum, chewed it and swallowed the gum. Those pussies couldn't contain their terror as they fled and turned into a bunch of sissies.

Last time I heard, they're called The Pussy Cat Dolls now.

That's right. Real men hold it in - piss, beer, and gum (doesnt matter).

Scared that the gum will go to your lungs or it will block your intestines or it will stick to your stomach or it will form into a huge bubble and lift you to heaven? I'm not. I'm hardcore.

HAAAARDCOOORE!

Is it just me or am I the only one finding something seriously wrong with a society that thinks it's okay to stick a two inch rod through your navel and drink lots of antibiotics just to get it pierced but swallowing a piece of gum that gets moved with your daily crap is overtheedge danger?

That's right, cavemen and cavewomen of modern society. Gum does NOT stick to any part of your body if you dont stick it to your hair. There is no known case of anybody ever getting gastrointestinal damage from having swallowed gum in the history of Philippine medicine.

I bet Cynthia Luster swallows gum too. We kick ass. Because playing it dangerous doesnt necessarily mean you have to play it ignorant as well.

And quite frankly, I'd rather be kickass than ignorant. Because here in Public Static, I don't just whine sweeped shit under the rug. I empower you to actually do something about it - so I dont have to.

NOW WHERE'S MY GUM??