Real-Life Tekken

Thursday, May 31, 2007

I was reading the news just now when I saw this article:

JERUSALEM (AP) - A man clad only in underwear and a T-shirt wrestled a wild leopard to the floor and pinned it for 20 minutes after the cat leapt through a window of his home and hopped into bed with his sleeping family.

Of course, the first thing that came into mind was what any sane 23 year old programmer would think: TEKKEN LOL.

What the fuck were the people from Namco thinking when they started adding animals like Leopard-man King in the character list of Tekken anyway? Maybe this whole leopard wrestling thing has happened before and some douche at the design department thought itd be cool if the leopard would be able to fight back and have a really ridiculous name like "King".

So back to the article.

Now this is what I'd call real wrestling. No referees, no scripts, if one of them loses, he becomes dinner. None of that trashtalk shit, just pure wrestling. But I'm guessing the underwear dude made a few big talks too, because fuck, when you're pinning a hungry man-eating animal to the ground for 20 minutes, those will be the longest 20 minutes of your life (and what better way to spend those minutes by trash talking?)

What would be funnier is if the man had been alone in the room when the cat leapt in and then his wife walked in. I mean, if you saw your husband/wife in his/her underpants on the floor atop a subdued large animal in the middle of the night, what would you be thinking?

Divorce, that's what.

Or filming it for some shady website*.

This makes me remember that one time I was vacationing with my college friends in Batangas. In the middle of the night, a cat lept into a window and landed directly on my athletic cup-less balls.

Talk about getting hit in the right spot by the wrong type of pussy.

Worst wake-up call ever.

*4chan's Law of OmniFetish:
There's always at least one person in this world who will find it hot. Always. YA RLY.

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