LyriCSI : Music Crime Investigation

Our case today involves the runaway hit song "Miss Kita 'Pag Tuesday" as sung by a certain RJ Jimenez. By "runaway" I mean I'd fucking run away from any place who finds it classy to play this shit over and over again, and by "hit" I mean I'd hit anybody in the throat who insists in singing this to my face, or anywhere within a 20 meter radius for that matter.

Moving along, the song is about the asinine ranting of a guy who digs this girl in school. Pretty straightforward topic, actually. But is that really all there is to it? LyriCSI investigates.

Every day tayo’y ay magkasama
Magkasama lagi sa iskwela
Ang saya kapag recess at lunch break
Tayong dalawa ay parang nag date
Oh oh oh yeeah

Recesses and lunch breaks are usually only available for highschool and gradeschool students, so we can assume the singer is somebody from either of the two. The girl appears to be from the same school. Keep this information in mind for later.

Ganyan tayo almost everyday
Pero pag Tuesday
Namimiss kita

In this line, he says they're like that almost everyday. Which is probably a lie because anybody who claims they "like dating" "almost everyday" shouldn't be trusted - or talked to. Stalker much?

Owohuwo Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday

Enumerating all the days they meet instead of saying the one day that they dont hints on obsession, a very dangerous trait, specially for stalkers.

Ang lungkot ng araw pag dating ng Tuesday
Everyday na sana tayong magkasama
Pero sana talaga d pwedeng ipilit pag Tuesday
I hate this day of Tuesday
I hate this day pag Tuesday
I hate this day of Tuesday
aha aha aha

Obsession turns into obsessive-compulsive disorder, repeating instances of hatred towards something intangible. The guy is clearly off his rocker.

Isa pang dahilan kung bat ayaw ko ng Tuesday
Kasi naman
Coding ako pag Tuesday
Coding ako pag Tuesday
Coding ako pag Tuesday
Tuesday!
Yehehehi yow!
Aha! Mamimiss kita pag Tuesday!

And so we come to the most critical part of the song. "Coding ako pag Tuesday". The average oldest age a guy can start driving in this country is 18. On the other hand the average highschool student graduates at around two years younger than that age. We can infer that this guy is at least over 18, and the girl being able to have lunch and recess means she's below 17.

Then the fact that he can't go to school when he's "coding" means he's not actually a student. Having been a student myself, I know for a fact that excuses like "Sorry I couldnt go to school because he was coding" doesn't work any better than forged "I have LUPUS" for absence excuse letters.

So the singer is:

- old enough to drive
- hangs around highschools 5 days a week
- can't go to the school when he's coding.

Only one logical theory can tie those three together. The guy singing is a schoolbus driver, who is totally digging a highschool girl, which is pretty creepy.

In the end, we can assume that "Miss kita pag Tuesday" is a song about an obsessional pedo stalker school bus driver singing about a girl who probably doesnt know the dangers she's facing by just hanging around by Wacko driver.

Criminal. The next time you go on listening to seemingly innocent, think again.

Mr Wacko Driver, you may have fooled everybody with your song. But we're on to you.

Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?