Why don't we have paraskating as a sport? We already have parasurfing that lets you surf using a kite/sail as forward thrust. We have paragliding which is pretty much gliding but with a parachute. Why not attach a kite/parachute to a skater?
The whole thing is actually simpler than it sounds. All you have to have is a big kite, a string to control the kite and really strong wind. You use this kite to propel you fuckfast forward. Boom that's a whole new sport right there. Also if you can build large enough kites, maybe you can tie a car to your waist and solve the fossil fuel problem at the same time!
Two birds, one stone mother*bleep*er~!
I'd have to admit though, the system ain't perfect. You have to make sure the kite is blown in a direction that doesn't throw you out of the rink if you're using ice skates. And that the rink should be open air. Stopping might be a challenge too. Okay, so that's making things hard.
So why not just use inline skates?
I'll try sending these specs to the national patent office. I'm sure it'll make them go "BY SAMSON AND DELILAH, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE?" If the sport becomes mainstream, I'll sell the patent to Lucio Tan and then I'm going to be freaking rich. After that I won't have to put up shitty ads on this website. Also I can get my own domain name.
Now if only I can arrange my thoughts in such a way so it actually makes sense...
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