Would You Like Some Whine With That?

The other day I was reading a particular entry from Dilbert Comic artist Scott Adams's blog about customers who enjoy complaining. He said that some people complain not to get the solution to their problems but just to complain, period, like it's their own sick form of fun.

I thought to myself: it's possible, but I never really thought I'd see somebody like that first hand. Boy, was I speaking too soon, or what? Yesterday I witnessed first-hand the proverbial customer-from-hell.

At first I thought it was just a fluke, like she was some sort of agrieved customer who just had a bad day. We were eating breakfast by the main dining hall of the diving resort while she was ranting to the waiters about the horrors of food poisoning. Or, to be more specific, potenial food poisoning. She was complaining about why the fruits were being left out in the open without refrigeration and started mentioning the possibility of it being infected by something like an airborne african flying sickness virus or something. She was citing sources from stuff I only hear in Discovery Channel (or at least what I think I hear from that channel. She wasn't exactly the credible kind)

The argument sounded stupid, like "In theory I can delete the internet if I start with my own PC" kind of stupid. But I let it go since it was 8 in the morning and she was probably just left out in the sun an hour too long.

Later that day we found her complaining just outside the dormitories that she wasn't able to get the names of the shuttle drivers who drove their group to the resort. After she got the names, she complained that the shuttles were not being warmed up for their usage and there's a chance the shuttles might break down.

The following morning she was complaining about not being able to get a good view from her table and insisted having her breakfast by the windows of the main hall. After eating, she complained about not having her bags packed yet by somebody I dont know anymore.

Note that I have no interests in following her. Or finding out what she has to rant about. It's just that every freaking time we come across her, she was complaining about something. I swear, there was no instance during my stay in the resort that I saw her mouth moving WITHOUT a word of complaint coming out of it. Her complaints are basically like radiation. When you're near her, you just take it all in, whether or not you want to, and it's always bad for you.

Why, she's basically what I imagine of a real-life political blogger.

But why was she doing the whine-a-thon?

I was thinking, was she the owner of the resort? Everybody called her ma'am. But then again, she was saying she wanted to see the view for a change since it's her last day that day so I'm thinking anybody who owns the resort would be tired of the view by now.

Then maybe, I thought, she's just rich. Again, I realize that she's staying in the single-room dorms and not the cottages where the classy folks are staying.

After a couple of days staying in the same resort as her, I've come to the undeniable conclusion that she's just a blabbering vagina. This woman finds entertainment/therapy in whining. Whintertainment, so to speak. Anybody who comes close to her gets this sour-faced reaction usually associated with anal probe sessions.

I was actually wishing for her to find something to whine about me so I can suckerpunch her between her eyes. Since I'm already expecting her to whine about it and she's already currently whining, nothing much will change, but I'll feel that I'd have returned the inconvenience she's dealing to everybody around her at least to a degree.

I'm thinking she'd have other whines I wasn't around to suffer from it. They'd probalby sound like these:

- The sea is too salty.

- These fish, why aren't they talking as advertised by Finding Nemo?

- Make the water so I can breath underneath without these awkward snorkels.

- Can you take the teeth off these sharks? They can be dangerous.

- What are you doing with that hammer? That's dangerous too. Wait. What are you going to do with that? Waaaah *thud thud thud* my skull! *thud thud thud* aaagh I'm bleeding like a crushed grape *thud thud thud*

Well, yeah. Seems my imagination is working fine.

It's a resort. Not a customer support center.