Yesterday was course card day for the university beside my house. I've had my share of funny stories about coursecards but I bet what would be funner is if teachers started doing more creative ways to present those cards that contain failing grades. (for reference, we follow the american grading system of 4 being the highest and 0 being the lowest by increments of 0.5 in our college)
Scene 1 (knock knock jokes)
teacher: knock knock.
student: *nervously* who's there?
teacher: zero
student: zero, who?
teacher: *presents coursecard* NEXT!
teacher: knock knock
student2: Who's there?
teacher: 4.0
student2: *delighted* 4.0 WHO MA'AM?
teacher: *presents coursecard, 0.0* Not you. NEXT!
Scene 2 (musicals)
student: can I see my coursecard now?
teacher: I have a song for you first.
student: what song would that be.
teacher: small circle, small circle, big circle. here's mama, here's papa, saying don't cry.
student: *cries like a whiney bitch*
Scene 3 (good news, bad news)
teacher: I have good news and bad news
student: Lets start with the good news
teacher: Well despite the low grades during the first quiz, the results got offset by a very high final exam and exceptional class standing.
student: That's great! What's the bad news?
teacher: I was talking about your friend's grades. See you next term.
Scene 4 (first we teach you, then we hire you)
teacher: Sorry, you didnt make it.
student: I didnt?
teacher: yeah, but as a consolation we have something here for you.
student: A make up project?
teacher: Read it.
student: Youre giving me application forms for Jollibee and McDonalds?
teacher: Let's just call it contingeny measures.
Scene 5 (guessing game)
teacher: Let's play a little game called "guess your grade"
student: Okay...
teacher: Clue number 1: What begins with "z" and ends with "ero"?
Scene 6 (Number game)
teacher: ID number 10002024.
student: Here, sir.
teacher: What's the most common number in your ID number?
student: *fucked*
Scene 7 (TRUE STORY, ALTRIG2, Grading - Osaka Iridology style)
teacher: Look into my eyes.
student: *puzzled*
teacher: Here's your 4.0, good job.
student: (where did he get the computation for this? I thought I failed)
teacher: *facing next student* Look into my eyes
student2: *looks intently*
teacher: Here's your card.
student2: YOU FLUNKED ME?
teacher: You didn't look like you've learned enough.
student2: *fucked*
I should have been a teacher. Course Card day would be so much fun. It's like being a manager and firing all the people you hate without taking flak for it.
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5 comments:
Yeah, be a prof!
Like Ms. Rhia!!! XD
Is Scene 7 about that male teacher that assigned me a seat in the back of the classroom because I questioned his apparent stupidity but still gave me a 2.5 in the end? I failed a lot of his tests too, I think. Am I right?
HAHAHAHAHA JESUS H. CHRIST YOU REMEMBER!
Of course. I only spent four semester in that school and I was at Xtreme most of the time. Silly stuff like that easily sticks out despite my reticent and highly selective memory (ReMViE!!! LOL).
NGWHAHAHA!!!
yeah, mag-prof ka na..
then we'll file grievance...
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