Wall-E : A Movie Walkthrough

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Instead of the usual review format, I'd like do something else for this movie. It's called a movie walkthrough. I'll be making comments about various parts of the film in the same manner you hear the know-it-all jerkoff behind your seat, making snide remarks while watching the actual movie. (yes, dipstick, we don't care if some things in this show are impossible. It's a fucking cartoon.) This time though, you're not watching the actual movie, so nobody has to stab anybody. Oh and yeah, in case you still don't know, there will be spoilers.

Anyway, on with the show.

The cinema is dark, the trailers have been shown. Movie opens up and we see Wall-E. The first part of Wall-E is a digitized remake of Resiklo, we have an old, clunky creature (Wall-E/Bong Revilla) trying to do what they're expected to do with their lives (recycle/suck ass). Now before I completely derail this article by ranting how much Resiklo sucked, let's just continue.

One thing noticieable by oldfags watching this movie is that Wall-E looks like the aborted fetus of Johnny Five from the 80s movie ShortCircuit. It's a nice nod to a classic robot deisgn. Maybe the guys at Buy 'n Large were movie buffs, but I don't see how that's relevant.

Enter EVE - a robot that looks like an egg, if in the future iPods learned to lay eggs. Armed with lazers, and lots of LED for eyes. Her die-rec-tive to find life forms on the planet. Wall-E falls in love with her at first sight, because come on, 200 years without tang won't really leave you picky.

The two get to know each other and Wall-E manages to make the girl fall for him using the only way most guys of our time know. Wall-E gives EVE the plant, which instantaneously knocks her out. Hilarity ensues. Did I say hilarity? I meant date rape.

You can argue all you want, but if making a girl dress up while she's unconsicous, taking her places, forcibly prying her hands from her cold hard casing against will (or lack there of) doesn't consitute "taking advantage", I don't know what will.

Anyhoo, a big ship takes EVE in for a ride and Wall-E bravely tags along. We are then presented with the world-ship Axiom, which has turned into a space fatfarm after floating around space for years.

In the ship, nobody ever walks around anymore. Everything is automated, and made easy from liquid food to built-in Google within the floating chairs of the people. The rest of the jobs are managed by robots, including the piloting of the ship. At this point, the movie is posing a very strong position against people living sedentary escapist lives, with allusions to the internet and solitary living. Kinda ironic since a good handful of people will be watching this on the internet, in front of their computers, alone. (hint: it's still showing at the cinemas)

Towards the end of the film Wall-E manages to stage an uprising (kinda like resiklo) against the totalitarian robots who have been preventing the return of humans to Earth, still looking blue and brown. Wall-E's antics manages to convince people that robots make bad drivers and that they should return to earth, ushering another era of large beasts roaming this world long after the dinosaurs have died out. Oh and yeah, people finally own up to the mistakes of their ancestors and start cleaning up and stuff, which is probably the most unrealistic aspect of the movie since PC nerds are the hardest people to convince when it comes to cleaning. Ask your mom if youre not convinced.

Anyhoo, Wall-E gets returned to his home shack and gets fixed up by EVE, and they live happily ever after, or whatever it is that robots do when they hook up.

As for my take on the movie, I think it's nice to see that you can actually send a message about staying healthy and doing something for the environment without sounding like a snobby asshole like Al Gore.
All in all, the movie was well worth a second viewing, and warrants a good recommendation, specially to fat friends who like to hang out in front of computers all day.

Now if you don't mind, I'll return to my daily routine of whoring out the internet.

No comments:


Search This Blog

Most Reading