A Quick Review Of Class Officer Positions

Thursday, August 07, 2008

We've all been through electing, or even getting elected as a class officer in our lives. Sure, we never really understood what these positions were for, but hey, making a mockery of what election should be is any kid's right. Anybody who's been able to at least reach up to the first grade should be able to relate to this. And if ever you went through your education without encountering any of these officer positions, you're either a wudan shaolin monk, or a retarded kid taking SPED. (imagining shaolin monks spending time on the net to read my blog sounds awesome though.)

Anyway, here's how I remember the different class officer positions.

1. President.

El Presidente. For my case, the guy who takes the president's spot is either the alpha male of the class who has the highest chance of getting laid by the most number of women or the guy who was voted into the position for the sake of having a president. Either way, the president gets to represent the class in a lot of things, including but not limited to student council meetings, first friday mass offerings, schoolfights, and first friday student council school fights. The president also may take the responsibility of being the teacher's personal butler in class, and occassionally the class police (by listing those tho are Talking, Playing, and Standing (TPS), the capital offences of our younger years. Exposure of this position is very good, though having to collect homework for the teacher can be a bitch (specially if you're the only guy who didn't do his)

2. Vice President

Somewhat a progenitor of our government's vice presidential position, nobody really knows what Vice President is for, outside replacing the president in the event he gets sick, imprisoned in city jail, or dies from canteen food poisoning. Of the various positions, the vice presidential position is possibly the sweetest position to have since you get the title but you have no real responsibility to worry about.

3. Secretary

The only distinctive feature of the secretary I can think of is that the elected student is usually female, or in the absence of such a biological gender (such as in my school), a guy with really really effeminate handwriting. The secretary is no more a secretary than he is a scribe, whose sole function in life is to write, and occasionally decorate the various bulletin board with cut out felt paper lettering and/or pictures of dead heroes. Being a secretary sucks, but still it pales in comparison to our next position...

4. The treasurer

On one hand, whoever gets elected to this position can say an entire group of people are able to trust him enough to give him money and not expect him to waste it on less important things like bad canteen food and hookers. On the other hand, when was the last time did you have a treasurer who people actually found cool? This guy is an accountant, a kubrador, and a safety vault all rolled into one. Most of the time the guy who accepts this sort of position is a masochist who just loves pain. Collecting any money in highschool, even if it's just a peso for the teacher's lecture photocopy, fieldtrip fees, or forced concert ticket payments is about as hard as robbing people of their kidneys without any tools.

5. Sergeant at Arms

I never really quite understood what these people are for. Kids who get this position are often large people, but they never do anything. They're fierce contenders of the vice president for the most useless spot in this list. My girlfriend told me these guys are supposed to arrange students in line and keep them behaved but in my 10 years of studying in gradeschool and highschool, I've never really seen this in action. Usually the guys who get elected for this position are even bigger assholes than the other students, so I really dunno.

6. PRO (Public Relations Officer)

This position isn't really a standard for all classes, and most of the time the PR thing is handled by the president, further reinforcing the idea that PROs are useless. Usually the last position to be filled up during the elections at the start of the school year, and because nobody really knows what PRO people do (I mean, I didn't really even know what PRO stood for until very recently.) people just elect somebody who first crosses their mind, like maybe their seatmate. So for this position, the winner is usually the guy with the most number of seatmates (and as a corollary, the guy who has the most number of asscheeks for seating purposes)


rei said...

I was once elected as President. LOL. I was in Grade 2 and a transferee. I couldn't even write the names of those people who are guilty of "TPS". That sucks~ ahaha

The PRO's job in our school is to fetch the next professor and help him carry his things.. (what?!)

raki said...

you forgot to include the Muse and Escort. 8D

redkinoko said...

Let's put it this way. If we had a muse and an escort in our class, we'd have to redefine the term "balls girls".

Maaan, all-boys schools suck.

rakeh said...

yaoi r00lz red. there's always yaoi in an all boys school 8D

redkinoko said...

In our school nobody uses the term yaoi. It's called man-rape, it doesn't have the girlish bishies, and there's no censorship. Not a good sight to imagine, I tell ya.


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