All Hail Our First Bachelor

In case you haven't heard, rumor has it our dear president just got dumped by his unbelievably hot girlfriend. Finally, we have a president who can stand up and be the representative for a vast majority who's had their hearts broken because they had to choose between careers and chicks.

Somebody should invite him to an SMC (Samahan ng Malamig ang Christmas)Party. The poor dude will fit in just fine. He can be the guest speaker and talk about the finer points of having the fanciest shagpad in town and tragically not being able to bring your girl inside.

Let's face it. Noynoy looks like shit, and he's not exactly the sharpest looking tool in the shed (pun not intended). To top it off, he doesn't really have a good track record in his job prior to becoming president - but when it comes to bedding chicks, he's still more than above average when it comes to the man scale (he's a 4, and he gets to bag chicks who are in the 7-9 range) When was the last time you hooked up with somebody five points higher than you? Without the aid of daterape drugs?

They should have put that in his campaign.

I can feel for Shalani though. It's hard enough to find a private place where you can make out when you're a nobody. It must be infinitely harder when you're dating a president and your boyfriend has a shining beacon on his forehead visible from the dark side of the moon.

So now Noynoy's going to be officially in the market again.

We can even make a reality TV show about it. Who want's to hook up with Noynoy?

I even have a title for it: The First Bachelor