Welcome Back Batibot

Batibot is going to be aired again in TV5. Ate Sienna and Kuya Bodjie are coming back, although I'm not sure if society is still as forgiving as it was 20 years ago, when it still allowed old, bearded bachelors who hang around town plazas to take kids into strange adventures that wouldn't be too out of place in an acid trip.

Sadly, Kiko and Pong are still gone. Which brings me to my take on the situation, why da eff should we bother calling it Batibot if the main characters that made it Batibot are not there anyway? Can we call Isumbong Mo Kay Tulfo the same if we take out the foul-mouthed bigot Tulfo and replaced him with a more aloof Joey De Leon?

If Koko kwikkwak takes the main helm of that show, blood will run in the streets driven by the collective, gut-curdling anger of every kid of my generation who grew up seeing that stupid bird steal the limelight from the beloved monkey and turtle combo. To think they considered him as a friend.


(from left to right: Pong Pagong, Kiko Matsing, Judas Iscariot)


Nobody likes Koko Kwikwak. His name alone is enough to make me cringe even as a kid. I've seen more appeal in roadkill than that mascot, which appears like it was forsaken by the God of creativity. See, Kiko Matsing looked liked he's your typical unshaven homeless dude who occassionally sniffs solvent, but he cool. In a way Kiko Matsing prepared us for that one guy in our barkada who's just into too much illegal shit, but is fun to hang out with anyway. Pong Pagong kinda looks stupid, but in a dope kind of way that reminds you of Fat Albert. Besides, if everybody had a voice like Pong, which I seriously suspect was caused by too much inhalation of helium, nobody would ever get mad at anybody. I mean, if somebody insulted you and said WHEEEEEEEEEEE in the end, would you get angry or will you just laugh your ass off? Anyway, as for Koko, he went full retard. Nobody goes full retard and walks away happy. There are no existing pictures of him on the internet with any trace of dignity. If Noynoy was juxtaposed with him, our president will look like the perfect statesman. I would not want him as a friend. Or even a pet. Or even a stuffed animal.

I suppose it's great that we will have Batibot again, hopefully this time it's going to stick better than Batang Batibot which ran on a government channel. Whose idea was that anyway? I can't trust our government with my health insurance, how much more the children who need somebody to look up to? Let's face it. As far as good morals go, the government is second to the last thing on everybody's mind. (The last one being reserved for Gloria Arroyo) That program was doomed from the very beginning.

This time though it should be better. Manny Pangilinan, owner of TV5 should know better. If he can pirate Willie Revillame for millions of pesos, how is it possible that he cannot do the same thing for Pong and Kiko?

Here's to high hopes, and yeah, welcome back Batibot.