Eat, Pray, Love : A Review from a man's POV

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Actually this won't be a review. I guess this will be more of a self-entitled rant, because everything you need to know about the movie can be pretty much summed up with a little anecdote:

I went to watch it with my mom and two sisters, not because I wanted to, but because it was my sister's request an it was her graduation day. Midway through the film, my mom and two sisters were sleeping. SLEEPING. On a film they all said they wanted so badly to see. I wish I was making this up. They were asleep. Meanwhile, I was awake, trying to imagine ways the film could be made more awesome (results: lots of untimely deaths, specifically for the main characters)

The movie felt like a manual election count - it's unbelievably long, unbelievably slow, and midway through, you just start forgetting what it's all is about. Realistically speaking, it's two and a half hours long. Frodo could've sent the ring from the Shire to Mt. Doom in that time. It doesn't sound like much, until you consider you're watching a DATE FLICK. (hint: They're not notable for their lengths. most of the time they're just long enough to make the guys escorting their dates through the film look like big jerks because Matthew McConaughey is so sweet to his girl) From how I felt at the time though, I figured if I put my money on time deposit before entering the theater, I'd have been a millionaire by the time I got out 100 years later, just in time for the credits.

I think the movie should be seen by everybody who keep on bitching everytime a book-to-movie port comes out. Here's the perfect example why movies aren't supposed to follow books canon. The results are asslong, meandering pieces that just saps the living consciousness out of you.

And was it worth it? It's an American movie filled with American problems and American solutions.

Problem: The leading lady (was it Sandra Bullock or that other chick who looks like her?) feels like her life is empty, despite the fact that she's got a good house, a stable marriage, and an ideal job.

Solution: Leave the house. Ditch the husband. Resign from her job. Take a trip to three countries Americans seem to find interesting because the culture is so different, stay there for a year, and then gain enlightenment because they can do what the "natives" do.

The result? It's the longest montage of a girl leaving a guy and finding another in the history of modern cinema.

I still can't believe I sat through the whole thing.


Mai said...

I'm not surprised. Nothing much can be gleaned from something that suggests happiness can only be attained if you have the money to buy plane tickets to abroad and pocket money enough to sustain you for your year-long "soul-searching".

Anonymous said...

What I do is imagine people picking out booger in really hardcore drama scenes. Genius, right? Works for all the Bea Alonzo movies, not that I can help holding my dick watching her walk or anything.


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