Random Thoughts

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

I still don't know what it is in chloroform that gets them agreeing to whatever I say. Whoever invented "silence means yes" probably has chloroform at hand when he first coined it.

So last night, I cracked a joke so horrible, people who saw it started requesting to get into witness protection program.

What did the polar bear say to the Panda? Doesn't matter, the Polar Bears don't know Chinese and the Pandas don't know why they're in a place with Polar Bears.

I bet if you could suggest a law that changes how laws should be passed, we can create an endless loop in the Senate.

Any marriage can be saved by a sufficient amount of fireworks (carefully aimed at the in-laws)

Why do people say "fishcake" when something's easy? Cakes are anything but easy for fish, unless you're a swordfish - then you'd at least get the cutting part down.

When you start removing skeletons from the closet, does that make the skeletons gay?

It takes a big man to cry, specially if he's chasing you with a thorny baseball bat.

Women like men who cry, if only so they can appreciate better their torture techniques.

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