I Hate Ragnarok Online

So I was checking Master Diwa's blog for the first time when I saw this question on his site: Why in tarnations would I still stick to a game that's already five years old? With that kind of play record you'd think I like it. I don't. I hate it.

I hate Ragnarok Online.

I hate the way I have to spend money on it every month that I could have used somewhere else. But I'm glad I'm not spending that money on drugs. And if ever I do spend on them, at least I know I'm spending 350 less a month on them.

I hate the way it takes time away from other social things that I can be participating in. But I'm glad I don't have to pretend as much when I'm playing ingame.

I hate the way RO slows all my downloads down. But I'm glad it reduces the chances of me downloading more "worldly" files.

I hate its bad graphics. But I love the way the requirements fit nicely to the slow specs of our old laptop.

I hate the linear gameplay of this game - the limitation it presses on its players. But I love the way you dont have to do so much math when building characters compared to other games.

I hate its very incompleteness, its forever state of beta. But I'm glad there's always something new I can look forward to every new patch.

I hate the way bots tend to outnumber normal players in all maps. But I'm glad because of that, I lost the will to play as much now so I get more time for other things (like spamming).

I hate the way maps and servers go down when you want to play the most. But I'm glad I get the time to do basic self-cleaning when these things happen (like taking a bath).

I hate the way I get hacked when I start playing in dubious internet cafes even with gameguard in place. But I'm glad being hacked made me more religious, praying more than ever for the demise of whoever hacked me (Lord, kunin mo na po sya plx).

I hate the way I can never really trust almost anybody I meet in this game, regarding gender or any other matter. But I'm glad there are exceptions who can keep the deepest of my secrets and be honest enough about anything in return.

I hate the way I can hate this game as much as I can but in the end I'll still know it has already become a part of my life and that no matter how hard I try, I'll still find myself looking back at better memories and realize that happiness is more of a memory that is remembered than is a momentary event that is experienced.

Because I hate RO - for being unable to live with it and unable to live without it at the same time.

I hate Ragnarok Online.

But I'm glad I'm a part of it.

(grafted with article draft from 9/1/2006)