More One Liners from My Facebook

I'm a purefoods chicken nugget! More chicken under the shell. I'm chunky! Juicy! Chicken delight, in every nugge - EAAAARGH MY BRAAAAAIN! YOU'RE EATING MY BRAIN!

SONA Drinking game: Everytime GMA claims achievements done before she came into power, take a shot. Everytime GMA claims achievements that wouldve happened even if she weren't there, take two shots. (warning: this game can actually kill you)

End user - the general feeling of wanting to cut short the life of whoever you're developing software for.

Hyperthreading - the ability to do amazing things while the fate of the project hangs by a thread.

Multitasking: (N.) - (mul-tay-tas-king) The process of screwing multiple things up at the same time.

(more after jump)

Dear moon, stop being lazy and quit mooching light off the sun. It's bad enough that you're not working full time on a daily basis.

I will no longer procrastinate. I will see things through. I will no longer be indecisive. Most importantly, I will - (will continue this stat message later, maybe)

Yun lang naman sinasabi ko palagi. Kung hindi mo na mahal ang tao, hindi mo na mahal, pero siguraduhin mo na bago mo bitiwan ang isang relasyon, nagawa mo na ang lahat para paganahin yun, kasi parang larong agawan base yan. Walang balikan.

ollege Trivia #2: DLSU CCS male students like to go to the men's room together during breaks to have boy talks.

CollegeTrivia #1: DLSU CCS holds exams at night so the students can conveniently go home right after the exam and cry themselves to sleep

Everybody knows all that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. But not everybody realizes it also requires evil men to try really really hard. People gotta work hard to achieve, you know?

If social networking sites were women, Facebook is somebody who demands too much attention and who's all about playing games. Multiply is a conservative oldbag who just doesn't know the definition of fun. And Friendster would be that first hot girl you had sex with, who eventually became the town bicycle, gained tons of weight, and became riddled with viruses you don't want to acquire.

Manly suggestion #16: Try listening to the movie theme of Rocky while taking a dump. It won't help the constipation, but God knows you'll try harder.

"Do you know anything that can help me write my story?" "A pen."

Pwede rin ba magstrike ang mga pasahero pag siraulo yung driver ng jeep?

There's this guy I know, he sucks in bed so bad, any attempts to record it always end up in Quicktime.

I don't get why people only say good things to another when the other person is already dead. What are they trying to do, get free drinks from the departed? Come on man. If a person's beautiful, or admirable, or if he or she did something great, just say it. It won't kill you, and unless the other person has a frail heart, it won't kill her either.

Ang pagibig hindi parang kanin na pwedeng iluwa kapag nagiinit. Teka, hindi ata pagibig yun.

Too many cooks spoil the broth, unless you're a cannibal.

The only difference between a burrito and a shawarma is that putting pork in the former makes it pork-flavored while putting it in the latter makes it an abomination.

Let's face it, "sedated" isn't exactly one of the best things you can put under "dating preferences".

MRT na ata ang pinakamagulong train sa buong mundo. Pag sumakay ka sa North station tapos pumunta ka sa kabilang dulo, pagbaba mo, nasa "Top" station ka pa rin.

The other day I tried to add Jose Rizal up on Facebook, until I realized how ridiculous it was. Taga Ateneo kaya yun!

Never hit a man with glasses, specially if he's holding your drink for you.

You don't treat love like a 7/11. Never enter one expecting convenience. Or free Slurpies.

Beimg the best in life is a lot like being the best in typing maniac. Either get good enough to best all of your friends or hang out only with friends you're sure you can beat.

Any programmer can say "Hello World". A really good programmer can make the world answer back.