I have A Credit Card
Thursday, February 26, 2009
I finally have a credit card. Until a few weeks ago, I didnt really know where to get the stuff im supposed to submit to the credit card companies. Well apparently I already have a soul so I just need to give it to them as part of the requirements.
Public Static Featured Video: Superproxy 2k6
For this week's featured video, we have a short DIY music video made by the DIT group of STI Recto for a VS-MV school competition. (okay, enough acronyms) Pretty well made, even past amateur video standards. I guess students who have too much time in their hands can produce good things too and not just babies and crappy garage music. I'm not really a big fan of Francis Magalona though, and I'm certainly not going to change stances because he's sick.
So what will you do if you had your own proxy?
On a more personal note, all those STI uniforms kinda remind me of somebody not too long ago (you know who you are *kilig*).
Finer Points: Eating Out For Nerds (part 1)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
A couple of days ago, I did a short discourse on the things one should at least have an idea of before venturing out into the highly ritualized and eccentric activity that normal people would call "going out on dates".
As one nerd speaking to (probably) other nerds, I'd say it can be daunting for our types specially since the only partying we're used to involves powerlevelling with an elf and a midget who calls himself Hans in some obscure online game. So as to be part of the solution than to be a contributor to the problem, I wrote this article that might be useful for the nerd seeing out to improve on his communication skills.
And no, we're not talking about charisma points of your character in Fallout.
With a little work, this guy could be you!*
*(guide to undergoing plastic surgery not included)
1. Asking A Girl Out
Arguably, the hardest part of dating part is finding an excuse to ask a girl out to eat with you specially if there's no real reason to, other than the glaring fact that you've been staring at her naturally perky funbags for the last 30 minutes or so. That should never ever count as a reason, and so you have to make something up that might convince her. Some possible reasons for eating out are as follows:
- To discuss something you have in common
- To repay you/her for a favor asked by either side
- Because you don't have anybody to eat out/go to some other place with
- To try and ward off the idea that nerds are going to die alone
Notice that none of the above explicity show that you're interested in a girl. When asking a girl out, subtlety is the key to the game, and as a general rule, the more disinterested you sound, the more interesting you'll become to a girl. It's a quirk of women, but you bet your damn ass it's true. (I read it in Cosmopolitan, so it must)
2. The Venue
Suppose you managed to bend your dark dark fate and manage to not fail the first step. Good for you! The next step is arranging the place and time. The venue will most likely depend on how you were able to ask the girl out. If you asked for a discussion, the venue should be somewhere where talking is permissible, i.e. not inside a resto-bar or inside a flea market. If you asked her out to watch a movie, it as to be within the vicinity of a (fucking duh) cinema. If by some chance you used chloroform to setup a date, an abandoned grasslot somewhere in Bulacan will do just fine. Other than that, if possible, the place should be somewhere where there are a lot of options.
3. The Restaurant
While it's really nerdy to do so, a real nerd shouldn't pass the opportunity to ask first for allergies and eccentricities. A real man like you will chow down anything with calories and salt, but that doesn't mean your date will too. Some women tend to be picky over trivial things like cultural beliefs, dietary preferences and lifethreatening allergies. (Feh, women). Since you don't want your date to end up at the ICU of the hospital, ask her about it and dont be shy.
Next, ask a girl if she has preferences. Don't ask particular restaurant names, just the general types. Women, as i have mentioned before don't really like decisions. I mean, they like having to have to make decisions but actually making them is a totally different thing. The less specific choices that they make will make it easier for them to choose. That translates to lots of time saved on your part and less starving on her part.
Common categories for this choice are: American, Filipino, Italian, Japanese, and Chinese. Other things you may want to throw in are "something exotic" and "suprise me". Something exotic is probably persian/mediterranean and "surprise me" can be the carinderia across the street. After she makes a decision, you make the final decision as to where you should eat.
Since the article is drawing too long already, I'll have to stop here first. Tomorrow we'll talk about Ordering, eating ,small talk, paying up, and finally parting.
As one nerd speaking to (probably) other nerds, I'd say it can be daunting for our types specially since the only partying we're used to involves powerlevelling with an elf and a midget who calls himself Hans in some obscure online game. So as to be part of the solution than to be a contributor to the problem, I wrote this article that might be useful for the nerd seeing out to improve on his communication skills.
And no, we're not talking about charisma points of your character in Fallout.
With a little work, this guy could be you!**(guide to undergoing plastic surgery not included)
1. Asking A Girl Out
Arguably, the hardest part of dating part is finding an excuse to ask a girl out to eat with you specially if there's no real reason to, other than the glaring fact that you've been staring at her naturally perky funbags for the last 30 minutes or so. That should never ever count as a reason, and so you have to make something up that might convince her. Some possible reasons for eating out are as follows:
- To discuss something you have in common
- To repay you/her for a favor asked by either side
- Because you don't have anybody to eat out/go to some other place with
-
Notice that none of the above explicity show that you're interested in a girl. When asking a girl out, subtlety is the key to the game, and as a general rule, the more disinterested you sound, the more interesting you'll become to a girl. It's a quirk of women, but you bet your damn ass it's true. (I read it in Cosmopolitan, so it must)
2. The Venue
Suppose you managed to bend your dark dark fate and manage to not fail the first step. Good for you! The next step is arranging the place and time. The venue will most likely depend on how you were able to ask the girl out. If you asked for a discussion, the venue should be somewhere where talking is permissible, i.e. not inside a resto-bar or inside a flea market. If you asked her out to watch a movie, it as to be within the vicinity of a (fucking duh) cinema. If by some chance you used chloroform to setup a date, an abandoned grasslot somewhere in Bulacan will do just fine. Other than that, if possible, the place should be somewhere where there are a lot of options.
3. The Restaurant
While it's really nerdy to do so, a real nerd shouldn't pass the opportunity to ask first for allergies and eccentricities. A real man like you will chow down anything with calories and salt, but that doesn't mean your date will too. Some women tend to be picky over trivial things like cultural beliefs, dietary preferences and lifethreatening allergies. (Feh, women). Since you don't want your date to end up at the ICU of the hospital, ask her about it and dont be shy.
Next, ask a girl if she has preferences. Don't ask particular restaurant names, just the general types. Women, as i have mentioned before don't really like decisions. I mean, they like having to have to make decisions but actually making them is a totally different thing. The less specific choices that they make will make it easier for them to choose. That translates to lots of time saved on your part and less starving on her part.
Common categories for this choice are: American, Filipino, Italian, Japanese, and Chinese. Other things you may want to throw in are "something exotic" and "suprise me". Something exotic is probably persian/mediterranean and "surprise me" can be the carinderia across the street. After she makes a decision, you make the final decision as to where you should eat.
Since the article is drawing too long already, I'll have to stop here first. Tomorrow we'll talk about Ordering, eating ,small talk, paying up, and finally parting.
Finer Points: Dating Essentials For Men
Monday, February 23, 2009
Everybody will tell you that dating is about you being yourself and the other person liking you for what you are. Of course, experience will tell you that it's still bullshit, since unless youre Brad Pitt, Jesus Christ, or Val Sotto, "being yourself" also often means being too physically and socially repulsive for human contact. Contrary to what japanese cartoons tell you, being an eccentric asocial retard who smells like cheese will not cause women to be inexplicably attracted to you.
That said, a few standards have to be made for dating, and to keep up with those standards, you have some things that you should know. I will not tell you how you should behave during dates on this article, because this article will be too long if I do. I'll just tell you what you should KNOW beforehand that's not related to your behavior. We'll save the "during the date" tips for other articles.
1. Know at least 4 songs you can confidently sing in a videoke bar
For the most of us men, videoke sessions are a bitch. No naturally straight man would love hitting high notes holding a microphone unless they're the vocalist of a rockband (and only we're not talking gwapo bands). However, it needs to be done, and if done properly, you can actually have fun. So you dont' come unprepared, practice at least four songs you'd know how to sing. Low pitched songs that are key of C are your bestfriend. Some examples are: Unwell, Wherever You Will Go, Closing Time, and Maging Sino Ka Man. If you need to practice in a place where people wont shoot you for sounding like a popstar's funeral, sing while taking a bath. That way the bathroom tiles mask the noise, and you'd get used to the feeling of water splashing you after you sing badly.
2. Know at least one restaurant of different types: italian, american, chinese, japanese, dessert
Most women can't decide shit when it comes to food if their lives depend on it. Call me sexist but it's true. Of course, some of them know what they want, and when you go out with those types, it's good. If they're not, you better be prepared. Know the different restaurants at your destination if possible. Forehand knowledge of estimates on the pricerange and foodserving sizes are very useful. Here's a example:
Mall of Asia:
Italian - Joe Pepperoni (medium, 200,300 per head), Italiannis (heavy, 500 per head)
American - Almon Marina (light, 200 per head), Hot Shots (heavy, 180 per head)
Chinese - Mandarin Wok (medium, 200 per head), David's (light, 300 per head)
Japanese - Tempura (medium 150 per head), Teriyaki Boy ( 250 per head)
Think about this information set as a toolbox. You just gotta have the right size of screwdriver for the right kind of screw, if you know what I mean. No, not that kind of meaning. Stop that.
3. Know a taxi hotline number you can call in case of emergency.
There are times when you just need a taxi and you cant find any. There are taxis that offer pickup service so you can avoid having to stand and wait for taxis for half an hour when your date's itching to go somewhere else. Taxis that offer pickupservice are: MGE, AVIS, 24/7. There are others, but I don't really know them.
4. Learn one dating type arcade machine
We guys know arcades like we know our mother's womb. As soon as we knew how to press buttons and ask our parents for money, we were already playing in the arcades. Girls aren't like that however, so don't blame them if they're not as into your 80% win ratio in Tekken 6. There are machines in arcades specifically designated for "dates". UFO catchers, BishiBashi, and hoopshooting are just some of them. Know how to operate at least some of them so you dont end up looking like a retard wondering where to use your card/coins.
5. Learn how to order in places like Starbucks
I'm sure to most guys, this is already elementary. I will not discount the fact, however, that there exist people like me who did not have their first cup of starbucks coffee until third year in college. Ordering in Starbucks is simple, but for first timers it can be daunting. If you're feeling overwhelmed, just choose a cold drink and a size, wait for your name to be taken and then pay up. Go back to your seat or wait for your name to be called near the claim counter, all the while maintaining a smug face that comes standard with people who like to wait while standing.
Of course all these information are pretty much useless if you don't really know how to carry yourself, but at least you're a bit more informed for future dates. As I've always said before, the best way to find out all about these things is to do what I did. Keep at it, stop sticking to your high standards and just go out with everybody you can go out with. (unless you're no longer single in which case, do so with utmost secrecy)
Good luck and happy dating, you nerd you.
That said, a few standards have to be made for dating, and to keep up with those standards, you have some things that you should know. I will not tell you how you should behave during dates on this article, because this article will be too long if I do. I'll just tell you what you should KNOW beforehand that's not related to your behavior. We'll save the "during the date" tips for other articles.
1. Know at least 4 songs you can confidently sing in a videoke bar
For the most of us men, videoke sessions are a bitch. No naturally straight man would love hitting high notes holding a microphone unless they're the vocalist of a rockband (and only we're not talking gwapo bands). However, it needs to be done, and if done properly, you can actually have fun. So you dont' come unprepared, practice at least four songs you'd know how to sing. Low pitched songs that are key of C are your bestfriend. Some examples are: Unwell, Wherever You Will Go, Closing Time, and Maging Sino Ka Man. If you need to practice in a place where people wont shoot you for sounding like a popstar's funeral, sing while taking a bath. That way the bathroom tiles mask the noise, and you'd get used to the feeling of water splashing you after you sing badly.
2. Know at least one restaurant of different types: italian, american, chinese, japanese, dessert
Most women can't decide shit when it comes to food if their lives depend on it. Call me sexist but it's true. Of course, some of them know what they want, and when you go out with those types, it's good. If they're not, you better be prepared. Know the different restaurants at your destination if possible. Forehand knowledge of estimates on the pricerange and foodserving sizes are very useful. Here's a example:
Mall of Asia:
Italian - Joe Pepperoni (medium, 200,300 per head), Italiannis (heavy, 500 per head)
American - Almon Marina (light, 200 per head), Hot Shots (heavy, 180 per head)
Chinese - Mandarin Wok (medium, 200 per head), David's (light, 300 per head)
Japanese - Tempura (medium 150 per head), Teriyaki Boy ( 250 per head)
Think about this information set as a toolbox. You just gotta have the right size of screwdriver for the right kind of screw, if you know what I mean. No, not that kind of meaning. Stop that.
3. Know a taxi hotline number you can call in case of emergency.
There are times when you just need a taxi and you cant find any. There are taxis that offer pickup service so you can avoid having to stand and wait for taxis for half an hour when your date's itching to go somewhere else. Taxis that offer pickupservice are: MGE, AVIS, 24/7. There are others, but I don't really know them.
4. Learn one dating type arcade machine
We guys know arcades like we know our mother's womb. As soon as we knew how to press buttons and ask our parents for money, we were already playing in the arcades. Girls aren't like that however, so don't blame them if they're not as into your 80% win ratio in Tekken 6. There are machines in arcades specifically designated for "dates". UFO catchers, BishiBashi, and hoopshooting are just some of them. Know how to operate at least some of them so you dont end up looking like a retard wondering where to use your card/coins.
5. Learn how to order in places like Starbucks
I'm sure to most guys, this is already elementary. I will not discount the fact, however, that there exist people like me who did not have their first cup of starbucks coffee until third year in college. Ordering in Starbucks is simple, but for first timers it can be daunting. If you're feeling overwhelmed, just choose a cold drink and a size, wait for your name to be taken and then pay up. Go back to your seat or wait for your name to be called near the claim counter, all the while maintaining a smug face that comes standard with people who like to wait while standing.
Of course all these information are pretty much useless if you don't really know how to carry yourself, but at least you're a bit more informed for future dates. As I've always said before, the best way to find out all about these things is to do what I did. Keep at it, stop sticking to your high standards and just go out with everybody you can go out with. (unless you're no longer single in which case, do so with utmost secrecy)
Good luck and happy dating, you nerd you.
LTO Mel Tee oh.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
I used up my Birthday Leave yesterday to renew my license. Last time I went to LTO's office, I had to reprint my license which was made of vanishing ink. Stupidity of using magic ink for formal documents aside, I found the experience rather positive, mainly because I did not spend even a wooden peso and it took me less than half an hour.
This time around, my license has expired and thought hey, maybe it's not so bad too, because LTO is one of those branches of our government that actually shows you where your money goes.
Hooooooooooooo boy.
Turns out I was mistaken more than Hitler was mistaken in fucking with Russia during wintertime.
I'll relate to you the experience by how the fees I had to pay for the fucking license.
Let's take note first that as a working, GMA-fearing Filipino, I pay taxes. 25% of my salary goes to the government. So basically, everything I do ever monday and tuesday mornings go to the coffers of our great nation. I expect that money to at least render me service, and maybe not pay for a service like renewing a license, or if I have to pay for it, not by too much.
That said, I have the right to complain.
100 Pesos Medical Fee - This fee is paid to the accredited LTO clinic just across the renewal center. It consists of BP, an eye exam, and a height/weight check. When I entered the clinic, I was made to stand on the weighing scale while writing on the logsheet with my right hand, while looking at the eye check chart (the one with lots of letters) and had my left hand being compressed by the blood pressure checker. The whole thing took me less than four minutes.
Four minutes for 100 pesos. That wasn't a checkup. That was highway robbery. I had my shoes on when checked for weight and height, I was wearing my eyeglasses and I could have sworn the BP strap never got tight enought to really check my pressure. How is this going the help filter bad drivers again?
325 Pesos Drug Test - The drug test consists of three parts. First part is filling out the forms, second part is urinating on this tinyass bottle on an open cubicle, and third is paying a ludicrous amount and waiting for the second coming of the Christ. In between I got asked retarded questions like "Do you do drugs? Are you planning to do drugs? Have you experimented with drugs before?" Yeah, like anybody would really admit to those things. Honestly policy in our country is like introducing a no-spice restaurant in Korea. Shit just doesnt work.
After a while the results came out. Turns out they only test for Methampetamine and Tetrahydracannabinol, which are shabu and marijuana respectively. What about Ketamine? Lots of people get high on those nowadays. Ecstasy? I didn't see it. Rugby? It's not even expensive to check for that. Just swab the nose and see if the swab stays in place.
With the results, I was given an insurance card worth 25 pesos. I asked if it's required by LTO, and says it wasnt. I then asked if it was mandatory to get. They said it was, as company policy. What the fuck. When I get my car a tuneup I dont get forced to buy mandatory car freshener just "because". I saved myself the hassle of shouting at their faces. You just dont want to get into scuffles with people who handle urine all day long.
417.85 Pesos Renewal Fee - Seriously. Why does the figure have to be so obscure? If we still had pesetas we'd probably have those in the price tag too. Considering that the LTO has already a large budget, it still puzzles me why we have to pay for such a large sum. While I was paying this, it's also interesting to note that one guy was actively trying to bribe the guy I'm talking to. In a very loud voice. Some people just forget why "under" is part of "under the table".
60 Pesos Computer Fee - For a webcam picture and a digital signing procedure. God knows why this is still seperate from the Renewal Fee. Is it because they're using a third party company? Why do we even have to know that?
75 Pesos Late Fees - Okay okay, I admit I didn't have to pay for this if I were a bit more diligent in renewing the license. My only beef is that last time I renewed, I only paid 30 pesos for it, and I don't see why it has to appreciate (i.e. DOUBLE in three years time). It's not like we're paying for oil. It'd think it fair, if I were the one asking for information from the government and THEY'd pay me late charges too that I can double every three years.
But they again, if that were the case, they wouldn't really be the Philippine Government anymore now would they?
This time around, my license has expired and thought hey, maybe it's not so bad too, because LTO is one of those branches of our government that actually shows you where your money goes.
Hooooooooooooo boy.
Turns out I was mistaken more than Hitler was mistaken in fucking with Russia during wintertime.
I'll relate to you the experience by how the fees I had to pay for the fucking license.
Let's take note first that as a working, GMA-fearing Filipino, I pay taxes. 25% of my salary goes to the government. So basically, everything I do ever monday and tuesday mornings go to the coffers of our great nation. I expect that money to at least render me service, and maybe not pay for a service like renewing a license, or if I have to pay for it, not by too much.
That said, I have the right to complain.
100 Pesos Medical Fee - This fee is paid to the accredited LTO clinic just across the renewal center. It consists of BP, an eye exam, and a height/weight check. When I entered the clinic, I was made to stand on the weighing scale while writing on the logsheet with my right hand, while looking at the eye check chart (the one with lots of letters) and had my left hand being compressed by the blood pressure checker. The whole thing took me less than four minutes.
Four minutes for 100 pesos. That wasn't a checkup. That was highway robbery. I had my shoes on when checked for weight and height, I was wearing my eyeglasses and I could have sworn the BP strap never got tight enought to really check my pressure. How is this going the help filter bad drivers again?
325 Pesos Drug Test - The drug test consists of three parts. First part is filling out the forms, second part is urinating on this tinyass bottle on an open cubicle, and third is paying a ludicrous amount and waiting for the second coming of the Christ. In between I got asked retarded questions like "Do you do drugs? Are you planning to do drugs? Have you experimented with drugs before?" Yeah, like anybody would really admit to those things. Honestly policy in our country is like introducing a no-spice restaurant in Korea. Shit just doesnt work.
After a while the results came out. Turns out they only test for Methampetamine and Tetrahydracannabinol, which are shabu and marijuana respectively. What about Ketamine? Lots of people get high on those nowadays. Ecstasy? I didn't see it. Rugby? It's not even expensive to check for that. Just swab the nose and see if the swab stays in place.
With the results, I was given an insurance card worth 25 pesos. I asked if it's required by LTO, and says it wasnt. I then asked if it was mandatory to get. They said it was, as company policy. What the fuck. When I get my car a tuneup I dont get forced to buy mandatory car freshener just "because". I saved myself the hassle of shouting at their faces. You just dont want to get into scuffles with people who handle urine all day long.
417.85 Pesos Renewal Fee - Seriously. Why does the figure have to be so obscure? If we still had pesetas we'd probably have those in the price tag too. Considering that the LTO has already a large budget, it still puzzles me why we have to pay for such a large sum. While I was paying this, it's also interesting to note that one guy was actively trying to bribe the guy I'm talking to. In a very loud voice. Some people just forget why "under" is part of "under the table".
60 Pesos Computer Fee - For a webcam picture and a digital signing procedure. God knows why this is still seperate from the Renewal Fee. Is it because they're using a third party company? Why do we even have to know that?
75 Pesos Late Fees - Okay okay, I admit I didn't have to pay for this if I were a bit more diligent in renewing the license. My only beef is that last time I renewed, I only paid 30 pesos for it, and I don't see why it has to appreciate (i.e. DOUBLE in three years time). It's not like we're paying for oil. It'd think it fair, if I were the one asking for information from the government and THEY'd pay me late charges too that I can double every three years.
But they again, if that were the case, they wouldn't really be the Philippine Government anymore now would they?
Tradeoffs of Web 2.0
Monday, February 16, 2009
Web 2.0 is the catchall buzzword that people now like to use to call the internet, signifying how different and better it is from years ago. Not too long ago, back when I was just starting to discover the wonders of surfing (and inevitably, free porn), people were calling the internet "Information Superhighway." Nowadays, people can't type shit so I guess using something shorter will make things easier. Different, yes. But is it really any better?
First, a short story. I first learned how to write HTML when I was thirteen, a full 11 years ago (1997). Back then, publishing on the net meant you had to write lots of jargonish html code, experiment with dangerous technologies like javascript and dialup, and finally apply for a web space on the then independent Geocities.com. Even after you did get your spot, you had to get listed in search engines, because the engines back then were the equivalent of old blind men because
- they only recognized who you introduced to them
- they remember only for a very short while
- numerous as they are, not many ever stay around long enough to matter
Even the leader in search engines, Yahoo, was not too far ahead of competitors. It was the snobby old son of a bitch that only remembered people who gave it money. Finding the best sources of information was easy, because usually they were the only ones who were funded enough to get noticed.
Those days, funding meant more listings on turnpike pages (i.e. yellowpages of the web) and search engines, more listings meant more people seeing your site, more people knowing about you meant more people would recognize your credibility. It was a crude way of establishing heirarchy, but it worked for a a while. Information was limited, but those that existed commanded good authority.
Then came Google. Google was a superhuman stalker compared to Yahoo and his gang of aging gravemagnets. It didn't recognize what was on your wallet. It only saw how many other people thought you were telling the truth. You didnt even have to approach him. He RAN towards you, took information without you even noticing it, and placed it in his listings. Getting found on the net was now for everybody. The dawn of the "people" era was nearing.
With the advent of Google came the advent of friendlier content publishing websites. You were no longer required to know HTML. You just need to know how to type. Shit, you don't even know how to type PROPERLY. A guy who can read instructions and click with one finger can post content online.
Web 2.0 had come. Everybody who had something to share, could finally share it and be actually heard. Information content online simply exploded. Google searched, and made sure things are credible. If it werent, it'd be at the very back of a long list, like that retarded worker that keeps on applying in your company and gets routinely rejected for spelling "privileges" wrong.
Back then it'd be hard to even find data on Magellan's parents, nowadays a three second google will give you a thousand hours worth of research in the Library of Congress.
In that search, of course, you can even find Magellan's exploits, Magellan's encounter with Lapu Lapu, and his untimely death. If you get lucky, you just even might find out that he never wanted to kill Lapulapu and they were really friends.
It's all good, except, well, Magellan was never really friendly towards Lapu Lapu.
I wrote that shit up and as of date, at least a thousand students have read that article and probably halfbelieved it - because it was in front page. An article written by a guy who slept through half of his social studies classes in highschool gets to talk about Philippine History.
What went wrong?
Web 2.0. With the increase of people pointing at each other as authorities, no matter what subject, everybody became an authority, and websites that actually had an authority on something but did not have enough people pointing, was thrown into the back. My website, for example, has more authority online than the Philippine Historical Society. So when I say something, it's more likely to be believed than the Society's, simply because people hear my version first.
By people, I mean students who write down the first thing they can find for homework because they want to do whatever the hell it is that students do online (free porn).
Of course, not all people are like me who deliberately poison the well just to see if there will be people stupid enough to drink from a well clearly labeled as poisonous. (result: There are. Lots of them. If my blog's "facts" was poisoned water, I'd be on trial for genocide already)
Some people really write their opinions, and to some extent, maybe they're more right than the authorities. My article on Januario Galut may not have been right, but it's not wrong either, and the opportunity to go online has made people seriously reconsider a possible error in our history.
Of course things could have gone better at this point, but it didnt. With the introduction of mainstream advertising online, anybody could setup commercial websites already, where visitation translated to exposure, and eventually, to money.
Google revolutionized advertisement, but became the victim of his own machinations. People started exploiting the algorithms Google used to check authority. People deliberately increased their authority levels for their websites through more unofficial means like link trading. Sites that were neither authorities nor had ANYTHING remotely to say about topics kept popping up on top of Google searches. The net started getting covered with a layer of webpages that basically do nothing but redirect you to either ads or more pages that contain nothing but ads.
Try googling for your favorite novel and see how much of the information you'll find on the front page is actually information you'd want to know. And no, Barnes and Noble, we dont give a fuck about how much it costs!
Few people might notice it, but it's actually getting harder and harder to find things online without having to stumble on false information or lost in a jungle of ad sites.
Don't get me wrong though. Thanks these changes, we have now more information than we can imagine. Unfortunately, the more information we have, the more bullshit we have to filter to get the better contents. As denoted by this simple graph i made the same way I would have made it 11 years ago (God bless you MSPaint)
And I'm not saying the internet as an information medium is dead. Far from it, it's evolving, and I'm hopeful that we'll find a way around what we have right now. People are noticing and people are taking action. Google has started cracking down on link exchanges, and neoturnpike websites like Digg and Wikipedia have introduces better ways of claiming authority.
It's a weird wired ride to future. It will be far from smooth, but the destination is always worth looking forward to. (more free porn)
First, a short story. I first learned how to write HTML when I was thirteen, a full 11 years ago (1997). Back then, publishing on the net meant you had to write lots of jargonish html code, experiment with dangerous technologies like javascript and dialup, and finally apply for a web space on the then independent Geocities.com. Even after you did get your spot, you had to get listed in search engines, because the engines back then were the equivalent of old blind men because
- they only recognized who you introduced to them
- they remember only for a very short while
- numerous as they are, not many ever stay around long enough to matter
Even the leader in search engines, Yahoo, was not too far ahead of competitors. It was the snobby old son of a bitch that only remembered people who gave it money. Finding the best sources of information was easy, because usually they were the only ones who were funded enough to get noticed.
Those days, funding meant more listings on turnpike pages (i.e. yellowpages of the web) and search engines, more listings meant more people seeing your site, more people knowing about you meant more people would recognize your credibility. It was a crude way of establishing heirarchy, but it worked for a a while. Information was limited, but those that existed commanded good authority.
Then came Google. Google was a superhuman stalker compared to Yahoo and his gang of aging gravemagnets. It didn't recognize what was on your wallet. It only saw how many other people thought you were telling the truth. You didnt even have to approach him. He RAN towards you, took information without you even noticing it, and placed it in his listings. Getting found on the net was now for everybody. The dawn of the "people" era was nearing.
With the advent of Google came the advent of friendlier content publishing websites. You were no longer required to know HTML. You just need to know how to type. Shit, you don't even know how to type PROPERLY. A guy who can read instructions and click with one finger can post content online.
Web 2.0 had come. Everybody who had something to share, could finally share it and be actually heard. Information content online simply exploded. Google searched, and made sure things are credible. If it werent, it'd be at the very back of a long list, like that retarded worker that keeps on applying in your company and gets routinely rejected for spelling "privileges" wrong.
Back then it'd be hard to even find data on Magellan's parents, nowadays a three second google will give you a thousand hours worth of research in the Library of Congress.
In that search, of course, you can even find Magellan's exploits, Magellan's encounter with Lapu Lapu, and his untimely death. If you get lucky, you just even might find out that he never wanted to kill Lapulapu and they were really friends.
It's all good, except, well, Magellan was never really friendly towards Lapu Lapu.
I wrote that shit up and as of date, at least a thousand students have read that article and probably halfbelieved it - because it was in front page. An article written by a guy who slept through half of his social studies classes in highschool gets to talk about Philippine History.
What went wrong?
Web 2.0. With the increase of people pointing at each other as authorities, no matter what subject, everybody became an authority, and websites that actually had an authority on something but did not have enough people pointing, was thrown into the back. My website, for example, has more authority online than the Philippine Historical Society. So when I say something, it's more likely to be believed than the Society's, simply because people hear my version first.
By people, I mean students who write down the first thing they can find for homework because they want to do whatever the hell it is that students do online (free porn).
Of course, not all people are like me who deliberately poison the well just to see if there will be people stupid enough to drink from a well clearly labeled as poisonous. (result: There are. Lots of them. If my blog's "facts" was poisoned water, I'd be on trial for genocide already)
Some people really write their opinions, and to some extent, maybe they're more right than the authorities. My article on Januario Galut may not have been right, but it's not wrong either, and the opportunity to go online has made people seriously reconsider a possible error in our history.
Of course things could have gone better at this point, but it didnt. With the introduction of mainstream advertising online, anybody could setup commercial websites already, where visitation translated to exposure, and eventually, to money.
Google revolutionized advertisement, but became the victim of his own machinations. People started exploiting the algorithms Google used to check authority. People deliberately increased their authority levels for their websites through more unofficial means like link trading. Sites that were neither authorities nor had ANYTHING remotely to say about topics kept popping up on top of Google searches. The net started getting covered with a layer of webpages that basically do nothing but redirect you to either ads or more pages that contain nothing but ads.
Try googling for your favorite novel and see how much of the information you'll find on the front page is actually information you'd want to know. And no, Barnes and Noble, we dont give a fuck about how much it costs!
Few people might notice it, but it's actually getting harder and harder to find things online without having to stumble on false information or lost in a jungle of ad sites.
Don't get me wrong though. Thanks these changes, we have now more information than we can imagine. Unfortunately, the more information we have, the more bullshit we have to filter to get the better contents. As denoted by this simple graph i made the same way I would have made it 11 years ago (God bless you MSPaint)
And I'm not saying the internet as an information medium is dead. Far from it, it's evolving, and I'm hopeful that we'll find a way around what we have right now. People are noticing and people are taking action. Google has started cracking down on link exchanges, and neoturnpike websites like Digg and Wikipedia have introduces better ways of claiming authority.
It's a weird wired ride to future. It will be far from smooth, but the destination is always worth looking forward to. (more free porn)
Finer Points: Clubbing in Libis
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Last Saturday, I accompanied my girlfriend to a nightout organized for her friend's despidida. Set venue was at the newly opened Manor Superclub in Eastwood Libis. Frankly, I'm not a fan of going to Eastwood just to drink beer, oggle, and listen to lound music because it's just too damn far away, and even further away when you're trying to get home half wasted at four in the morning. Commuting from one end of Metro Manila to the other is just too hard when you can't even see where your foot is landing for your next step.
Being the lazy bastard that I am, I will not organize my thoughts on this article and just post my observational points from last Saturday's affair.
1. There's no formal distinction between a club and a superclub, unlike between a book and a superbook, where the latter has the unmistakable presence of a wacky robot, pagan anime children, and a poorly drawn Jesus. Going theory is that you're in a superclub if you fall in line to enter the club, and once entering one are, you fall in another goddamn line just to enter another part of the club because there's more than one "themed" area. Think Disneyland rides, without the express pass, but with more alcohol content.
2. House music is just the same shitty music you hear being played on your so-called "bakya" radio stations with a few cuts and loops injected. The shit you say you don't like hearing inside the bus on your way to work is the same shit you are dancing to inside a club that offers house music. Yes, you like to move it move it too, you elitist bastard.
3. "Dress to impress" means no sneakers, no tshirts, no ripped jeans, no elephant jeans, no basketball shoes, no shorts. Don't be a stupid nigger and just follow those rules. I'm not sure if the dresscode check that night was loosened up because it was new, but I started to think later that day that the "dressed to impress" policy was changed to "dressed too".
4. Cuban cigars are not cool. They do not make you look cool. They make you smell like a homeless person. They make people around you smell like homeless people too. Together with your ugly face, they make you look like a page torn out of Philippine lore.
5. I remember when we used to go barhopping in HK, the SOP was to visit the nearby 7/11 first, get tanked with cheaply priced beers, and then enter the bars consuming only one drink. This means drinking one bottle of Corona in 200 separate sips for two hours because beers there were f'ing expensive. I was thinking since the Philippines doesnt really sell beers as expensively, people wouldnt have the same practice. Last night proved me wrong, untouched sipped up sanmig lights abound, you'd think they're just there for decorations.
6. Clubs that involve dancing don't really come alive until 12 midnight. I really don't know why people like to start late. If you know this is where you're heading, get lots of sleep, caffeine, or meths. Combinations of the three are also possible, but not recommended. But just because they start late don't mean you should come late. Lines tend to build up real quick during that time and you don't want to spend half the time of your nightout camping outside the club.
7. Filipinos are generally clan-like people inside clubs. Whereas in other countries people inside clubs are pretty much in an elbow-room free-for-all for small talks, 'round these parts, you gotta befriend everybody before you befriend one. Don't ask me why. I don't know either.
Being the lazy bastard that I am, I will not organize my thoughts on this article and just post my observational points from last Saturday's affair.
1. There's no formal distinction between a club and a superclub, unlike between a book and a superbook, where the latter has the unmistakable presence of a wacky robot, pagan anime children, and a poorly drawn Jesus. Going theory is that you're in a superclub if you fall in line to enter the club, and once entering one are, you fall in another goddamn line just to enter another part of the club because there's more than one "themed" area. Think Disneyland rides, without the express pass, but with more alcohol content.
2. House music is just the same shitty music you hear being played on your so-called "bakya" radio stations with a few cuts and loops injected. The shit you say you don't like hearing inside the bus on your way to work is the same shit you are dancing to inside a club that offers house music. Yes, you like to move it move it too, you elitist bastard.
3. "Dress to impress" means no sneakers, no tshirts, no ripped jeans, no elephant jeans, no basketball shoes, no shorts. Don't be a stupid nigger and just follow those rules. I'm not sure if the dresscode check that night was loosened up because it was new, but I started to think later that day that the "dressed to impress" policy was changed to "dressed too".
4. Cuban cigars are not cool. They do not make you look cool. They make you smell like a homeless person. They make people around you smell like homeless people too. Together with your ugly face, they make you look like a page torn out of Philippine lore.
5. I remember when we used to go barhopping in HK, the SOP was to visit the nearby 7/11 first, get tanked with cheaply priced beers, and then enter the bars consuming only one drink. This means drinking one bottle of Corona in 200 separate sips for two hours because beers there were f'ing expensive. I was thinking since the Philippines doesnt really sell beers as expensively, people wouldnt have the same practice. Last night proved me wrong, untouched sipped up sanmig lights abound, you'd think they're just there for decorations.
6. Clubs that involve dancing don't really come alive until 12 midnight. I really don't know why people like to start late. If you know this is where you're heading, get lots of sleep, caffeine, or meths. Combinations of the three are also possible, but not recommended. But just because they start late don't mean you should come late. Lines tend to build up real quick during that time and you don't want to spend half the time of your nightout camping outside the club.
7. Filipinos are generally clan-like people inside clubs. Whereas in other countries people inside clubs are pretty much in an elbow-room free-for-all for small talks, 'round these parts, you gotta befriend everybody before you befriend one. Don't ask me why. I don't know either.
Heavy
Friday, February 13, 2009
You know, you shouldn't be walking around these parts with a laptop in your bag.
And why's that?
Snatchers, my friend, snatchers.
Do you have an idea how heavy my laptop is? Nobody will attempt to run away with this.
I wouldn't really say that. Experience told me otherwise.
Experience?
My Nintendo DS got stolen not too long ago and it's heavy too.
That's why it's called a DS LITE right?
...
...
It's heavy with my feelings of attachment.
And why's that?
Snatchers, my friend, snatchers.
Do you have an idea how heavy my laptop is? Nobody will attempt to run away with this.
I wouldn't really say that. Experience told me otherwise.
Experience?
My Nintendo DS got stolen not too long ago and it's heavy too.
That's why it's called a DS LITE right?
...
...
It's heavy with my feelings of attachment.
Changing Routines
Thursday, February 12, 2009
It's almost been 10 days since I last updated - quite unbecoming for a blog that used to be updated at least once a day. Maybe I should share to you what happened. See, I live very near La Salle Manila, as I've mentioned before, it's near enough for me to hear the morning bells and the Angelus. Just before quitting my work a good 4 years ago, I decided that I want to work somewhere near by, partially because I'm tired of any commutes longer than one hour, and partially because I'm a lazy fuck. I took on a job at a startup company situated just in front of the US Embassy, accessible by a paltry 20 minute commute from my place, 15 minutes if by taxi.
For a while, it was all good because one, I get to wake up very late (sometimes as late as 8:30 AM) and got home relatively early, during days when our workservers didn't decide to play the "fuck jet's schedule up by crashing at the last moment" game. It left me with more time for rest, other hobbies, and hookers, among other things.
Last year, our small company got eaten up by two larger companies and we were absorbed and relabeled as a new company. Unfortunately, this also involved changing locations of the office, which higher management has decided on our behalf. Our new office is now at The Fort, technically anyway. Our building is at the far end of the district, surrounded by vacant lots. In a way our building is like that weird kid during gradeschool that nobody wanted to sit beside for reasons that were just beyond us at the time. (i.e. AIDS)
As for travel time, I can't be happy about it. There is no way getting to my new office can be any faster or more conventient than my previous route. And being the nerd that I am, I felt the urge to find the most efficient route to my office by keeping time using various methods (including, but not limited to, trains, taxis, driving, rocket powered chairs) Tally for today is as follows in minutes and seconds:
00:00 - Left the doorstep of our house.
08:46 - Arrived at LRT Vito Cruz Station.
30:54 - Boarded the MRT Train (delays at the VC station because no train was arriving)
40:25 - Left the MRT Train at Guadalupe Station
54:56 - Arrived at the office via the Market!Market! Jeepney
So far, this proves two theories. One is that I can commute to work under less than an hour, and two, I need a better form of entertainment whilst travelling.
Adjusting to a new routine everymorning after having the same one for the last four years is just tiring, one reason why I didn't blog as much the past week. (again, also because I'm a lazy fuck). I'm not liking the new arrangement, but I'm willing to try it until it does, or until I just say "fuck it, I'll go look for something better"
But yeah, what can I say? I happen to like this company about as much as I like this blog.
For a while, it was all good because one, I get to wake up very late (sometimes as late as 8:30 AM) and got home relatively early, during days when our workservers didn't decide to play the "fuck jet's schedule up by crashing at the last moment" game. It left me with more time for rest, other hobbies, and hookers, among other things.
Last year, our small company got eaten up by two larger companies and we were absorbed and relabeled as a new company. Unfortunately, this also involved changing locations of the office, which higher management has decided on our behalf. Our new office is now at The Fort, technically anyway. Our building is at the far end of the district, surrounded by vacant lots. In a way our building is like that weird kid during gradeschool that nobody wanted to sit beside for reasons that were just beyond us at the time. (i.e. AIDS)
As for travel time, I can't be happy about it. There is no way getting to my new office can be any faster or more conventient than my previous route. And being the nerd that I am, I felt the urge to find the most efficient route to my office by keeping time using various methods (including, but not limited to, trains, taxis, driving, rocket powered chairs) Tally for today is as follows in minutes and seconds:
00:00 - Left the doorstep of our house.
08:46 - Arrived at LRT Vito Cruz Station.
30:54 - Boarded the MRT Train (delays at the VC station because no train was arriving)
40:25 - Left the MRT Train at Guadalupe Station
54:56 - Arrived at the office via the Market!Market! Jeepney
So far, this proves two theories. One is that I can commute to work under less than an hour, and two, I need a better form of entertainment whilst travelling.
Adjusting to a new routine everymorning after having the same one for the last four years is just tiring, one reason why I didn't blog as much the past week. (again, also because I'm a lazy fuck). I'm not liking the new arrangement, but I'm willing to try it until it does, or until I just say "fuck it, I'll go look for something better"
But yeah, what can I say? I happen to like this company about as much as I like this blog.
Fun Things To Do When Moving Out
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
One real good reason why, to the curiosity of many readers here, I put on mostly unedited chatlogs the past few days is that I've been really busy with work. See, our office is relocating to another office on the other side of the metropolitan area and as with anything related to moving large things, it's a lot of work. (ask any fat guy)
Matter of fact, the only reason I'm able to write something like this is that my PC has returned to its vacuum tube era speed limit from the sheer number of files being tranferred from my pc to the disk that will carry my files to the new office. I fear that if I try running even a single more program, my computer will happily gain sentience, acquire the nearest available revolver, and shoot itself in the processor.
Moving's a bitch, but if you're smart enough, you can have a bit of fun while doing it. Here are a few icebreakers that I can suggest to ease the tension:
- if you have access to the movable storage space of other people, add a folder filled with midget/horse/horsemidget porn taken from your personal collection. Upon arriving at the office and you see them discover their newly acquired fetish, scream at the top of your lungs "WHOAH, I didn't see THAT one coming."
- Jizz on your old desk. When people start asking why the sudden urge to deface the desk and yourself, tell them "That's how he'd want to be remembered, I'm sure of it." Your officemates will find it pretty funky, and will be having a good guffawing, at least until security arrives.
- Bring a "biohazard" stamp and start stamping people's move-out boxes just before they get picked up by the logistics people. When the bioterrorism unit finds out it's just a bunch of worn out print paper, they'll get a good laugh out of it.
- place lots of baby powder in 1 gram sachets. When people ask you what those are, tell them with a square face "tough jobs require tough measures."
Matter of fact, the only reason I'm able to write something like this is that my PC has returned to its vacuum tube era speed limit from the sheer number of files being tranferred from my pc to the disk that will carry my files to the new office. I fear that if I try running even a single more program, my computer will happily gain sentience, acquire the nearest available revolver, and shoot itself in the processor.
Moving's a bitch, but if you're smart enough, you can have a bit of fun while doing it. Here are a few icebreakers that I can suggest to ease the tension:
- if you have access to the movable storage space of other people, add a folder filled with midget/horse/horsemidget porn taken from your personal collection. Upon arriving at the office and you see them discover their newly acquired fetish, scream at the top of your lungs "WHOAH, I didn't see THAT one coming."
- Jizz on your old desk. When people start asking why the sudden urge to deface the desk and yourself, tell them "That's how he'd want to be remembered, I'm sure of it." Your officemates will find it pretty funky, and will be having a good guffawing, at least until security arrives.
- Bring a "biohazard" stamp and start stamping people's move-out boxes just before they get picked up by the logistics people. When the bioterrorism unit finds out it's just a bunch of worn out print paper, they'll get a good laugh out of it.
- place lots of baby powder in 1 gram sachets. When people ask you what those are, tell them with a square face "tough jobs require tough measures."
Deterministic Crabstick
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
"So, are crabsticks coming from real crab or what?"
"It depends on which thought you'd rather entertain: that we have genetically engineered squared crabs or that you're eating something that's not crab made to taste like crab."
Twilight Talk
Monday, February 02, 2009
(1:36:09 PM) Jet-YM: dont get me wrong thought. anne rice is like hardcore jail material compared to twilight
(1:36:29 PM) closet_vampire_lover: SO VERY TRUE
(1:36:42 PM) Jet-YM: so i thought, hmm maybe twilight would be awesome. i liked interview with a vampire so...
(1:36:53 PM) closet_vampire_lover: hahaha
(1:36:57 PM) closet_vampire_lover: i know where this is going
(1:36:57 PM) Jet-YM: and then a few pages in, i was like "this is utter garbage. harry potter was better"
(1:37:15 PM) Jet-YM: I tried to find something that would redeem the novel. I really did
(1:37:21 PM) Jet-YM: and then the vampires started sparkling
(1:37:23 PM) closet_vampire_lover: dude
(1:37:29 PM) Jet-YM: i dont know why but i felt compelled to read on
(1:37:33 PM) closet_vampire_lover: THE LITTLE PRINCE IS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY BETER
(1:37:48 PM) Jet-YM: and then one night, i was reading about twilight, my hands slowly started touching my nipples...
(1:38:02 PM) closet_vampire_lover: fuck
(1:38:04 PM) closet_vampire_lover: ok i wasnt expecting that
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