Finer Points: Clubbing in Libis

Last Saturday, I accompanied my girlfriend to a nightout organized for her friend's despidida. Set venue was at the newly opened Manor Superclub in Eastwood Libis. Frankly, I'm not a fan of going to Eastwood just to drink beer, oggle, and listen to lound music because it's just too damn far away, and even further away when you're trying to get home half wasted at four in the morning. Commuting from one end of Metro Manila to the other is just too hard when you can't even see where your foot is landing for your next step.

Being the lazy bastard that I am, I will not organize my thoughts on this article and just post my observational points from last Saturday's affair.

1. There's no formal distinction between a club and a superclub, unlike between a book and a superbook, where the latter has the unmistakable presence of a wacky robot, pagan anime children, and a poorly drawn Jesus. Going theory is that you're in a superclub if you fall in line to enter the club, and once entering one are, you fall in another goddamn line just to enter another part of the club because there's more than one "themed" area. Think Disneyland rides, without the express pass, but with more alcohol content.

2. House music is just the same shitty music you hear being played on your so-called "bakya" radio stations with a few cuts and loops injected. The shit you say you don't like hearing inside the bus on your way to work is the same shit you are dancing to inside a club that offers house music. Yes, you like to move it move it too, you elitist bastard.

3. "Dress to impress" means no sneakers, no tshirts, no ripped jeans, no elephant jeans, no basketball shoes, no shorts. Don't be a stupid nigger and just follow those rules. I'm not sure if the dresscode check that night was loosened up because it was new, but I started to think later that day that the "dressed to impress" policy was changed to "dressed too".

4. Cuban cigars are not cool. They do not make you look cool. They make you smell like a homeless person. They make people around you smell like homeless people too. Together with your ugly face, they make you look like a page torn out of Philippine lore.

5. I remember when we used to go barhopping in HK, the SOP was to visit the nearby 7/11 first, get tanked with cheaply priced beers, and then enter the bars consuming only one drink. This means drinking one bottle of Corona in 200 separate sips for two hours because beers there were f'ing expensive. I was thinking since the Philippines doesnt really sell beers as expensively, people wouldnt have the same practice. Last night proved me wrong, untouched sipped up sanmig lights abound, you'd think they're just there for decorations.

6. Clubs that involve dancing don't really come alive until 12 midnight. I really don't know why people like to start late. If you know this is where you're heading, get lots of sleep, caffeine, or meths. Combinations of the three are also possible, but not recommended. But just because they start late don't mean you should come late. Lines tend to build up real quick during that time and you don't want to spend half the time of your nightout camping outside the club.

7. Filipinos are generally clan-like people inside clubs. Whereas in other countries people inside clubs are pretty much in an elbow-room free-for-all for small talks, 'round these parts, you gotta befriend everybody before you befriend one. Don't ask me why. I don't know either.