LayOff Laughs

Monday, November 03, 2008

Laying somebody off isn't easy, but anybody with a low enough level of morals can do it without breaking a sweat. Laying off somebody AND having fun while doing it - now that's what seperates sadists by experience from the naturally creative sonnuvabitches.

Manager: Okay, let's talk about your appraisal this year, Joe.
Joe: Uh, sure. How is it?
Manager: Well, I can break it to you the traditional, straightforward way
Manager: But there's no fun in just doing that now is there?
Joe: Well...
Manager: We're encouraged to innovate around here so let's get rolling.
Joe: Okay.
Manager: Let's play a game. Do you know text twist?
Joe: I've tried it once.
Manager: Yeah, awesome game.
Joe: What about it?
Manager: I'll give you a jumble of letters, and then you shuffle it
Manager: the result should be the result of your appraisal this year.
Joe: Can't I just get my results?
Manager: That'd be cheating. Do we want to employ cheaters Joe?
Joe: No.
Manager: I made it so it shouldn't be so hard. Don't worry.
Joe: If you say so.
Manager: Here are your letters:
Manager: Y-O-U A-R-E F-I-R-E-D
Joe: What the hell. That's not jumbled.
Manager: Wow, you got lucky.
Joe: Lucky!? You're firing me!
Manager: Maybe not lucky enough?
Joe: I'll fucking kill you.

Creativity, boys. Remember how to use it.

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