Antonio Vivaldi Is The Shit

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

This is Antonio Vivaldi.

Today I will tell you more about this man.

Cutting to the chase, Vivaldi is fucking awesome.

Take a good look at this fucking picture. You are now being irradiated by a potentially lethal dosage of awesomeness. If you're pregnant, there's a good chance that your kid will come out of you with a musical instrument. Good fucking luck if he decides he wants to play the contrabass or grand piano.

Seriously, this guy is one crazy motherfucker. See how he manhandle that violin? If that violin were a woman, he'd be playing with its VAGINA. Vivaldi lived in the 16th century but pimps like it's just yesterday. See how he holds its instrument? Yeah, like an electric fucking guitar. If it weren't for historical plausibility, Vivaldi would have invented EVERY FORM OF ROCK EVER. Except Acid Rock. That's not real music. That's hippie garbage that should be forgotten in the dark recesses of history, like the MACARENA.

I was listening to his music earlier and felt like I needed to take a shit because the sausages that I ate in the morning were feeling rotten. I felt Vivaldi's music push the motherfucking sausagebits down my intestines real fast like it was a drill sergeant and my anus was boot camp.

Verily, no other music can do that.

LEstate, III.Presto, Tempo impetuoso destate, Guglielmo - Vivaldi

Fuck what's playing on your PC.
Listen to this shit and watch women
suddenly find you one sexy fucker.


Anonymous said...

i was lolling as i read your articel! but when i played the thing, dang!! he really is teh man!!

Anonymous said...

oh that was me, rumz

Anonymous said...

I'd like to put your opinion to the test. You think that making fun of him is funny? Why wont you try and write your own music? Call 518-523-1842.


Okay, anon. You got me laughing hard there.

kristoffer said...

Vanessa's (the Violin player) version of the above music links sounds better with modern music.

Kat said...

Vanessa's (the Violin player) version of the above music links sounds better with modern music
With all due respect, fuck no.


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