A Horsey Horse Horse Future

Friday, June 27, 2008

I'd like to make a prediction as early as now. Fuel prices will keep on getting higher, and there will come a day when we'll all wake up to see that the iron horse statues on our jeepneys have come alive to take over our roads again as the rightful "street kings" one more time - and then maybe proceed to litter our roads with splendor. By splendor I mean steaming horse dung.

I remember already telling you guys about how it's gonna roll when that happens. At least how it's gonna roll for me. Fuck yeah.

I bet when the horse revolution arrives, lifestyles will change too. Suddenly walking around topless for men will be fashionable again, along with sunkissed tans, greasy shoulders, and lots of chest hair. Then we'd be going by very long names like Federico Miguel Marco de LaGermania or something like that. Our houses will turn into haciendas and our dogs will be called "pulgoso"s.

Don't ask me why. You never ask why. I'm like seeing the future with my third eye here.

Of course I'm not surprised how people will find this idea preposterous, but with the cost of fuel rising and the current oversupply of talahib, dayame, and homeless people - suddenly strutting around on a horse becomes too viable.

Other observations that I made in this visions are as follows:

- Delivered fastfood will have a strange scent. Fries might not be the same quality as the ones bought dine-in and will have the mandatory ass-flavoring.
- Making out at the back of the "taxi" is no longer viable, since the back of the taxi will now contain heaps of emergency grass.
- Punas-windshield boys will have to turn to some other business (like horseshoe polishing)
- Teenage riders will have their horses' legs lowered and their assholes enlarged to make it appear their horses are more powerful (or gay)
- Green pine air fresheners will now be hung on horse necks everywhere, together with rosaries, sto. niƱos.
- Public horses will have "Katas ng xxxx" stamped in their asscheeks.
- Color coding will finally be about colors. Horse mane colors.
- Fuck towing. You don't want to see that happen.

Where will you be when the horse revolution comes?

1 comment:

FiSHCAKE said...

I'd be eating nachos in a tree.

 

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