Some quotes from my interviews

HR: Do you believe the customer is always right?
Me: The customer is always right but the customer doesnt always know what's right.
HR: So they're always right?
Me: They have the right to ask for what's right but we as the providers have the task of telling them what's right.
HR: *long silence*
HR: How philosophical. (in other words, pilosopo ka gago)

HR: Do you have any questions about our company?
Me: Actually, yes. I'd like to ask you personally if you find yourself staying in this company after five more years.
HR: I'm not too sure.
Me: *smiles*
HR: Wait, this is supposed to be YOUR interview.

HR: Heh, tagalugin na kita ha. Nuubusan na ako ng ingles eh.
Me: *chuckle* Ako rin.

HR: *raised eyebrow* Are you sure you want to work with us?
Me: I passed your written test. I solved your practical test. I want the job and I think I'm qualified for it.
HR: That's the problem. I checked your resume, you even got good grades.
Me: Nothing wrong with that, Sir. Right?
HR: This is not your field. You'll get bored with what you're going to do. And then you'll quit.
Me: So you're not hiring me because I might quit?
HR: We like to use the term overqualified.
Me: I'm a fresh graduate, sir. With all due respect, I can't possibly be overqualified for this.
HR: Fine.

Me: So you have internet access?
HR: Yes.
Me: What happens if I infect the PC even if it's running antisoftware made by your company?
HR: You get fired. Seriously.

HR: You mentioned you've had background in virus writing.
Me: I "studied" it for a while with somebody in the know.
HR: But you haven't written any viruses?
Me: Only ones that I use for studies.
HR: Then we can't hire you.

HR: So why do you want to join us?
Me: You mean apart from "free unlimited juice at the pantry"?

(this one is from my current company, a small new IT group so the one who interviewed me was actually our head manager at that time)
HR: So is there anything you'd like to know about the company?
Me: Will we be given internet access?
HR: Yes.
Me; Sweet. Broandband?
HR: Yes. But if you're thinking of downloading movies, download my requests first.
Me: Is there Saturday work?
HR: We discourage that.
Me: What's the ratio between men and women?
HR: I personally want more women in my group because I'd hate working like a sailor.
Me: Where do I sign?