A Humble Proposal

Monday, April 30, 2007

This is a most humble proposal to change our national hero. I move that we select Wengweng, "Agent 00" instead for the following reasons:

- Wengweng has a real job, unlike some national heroes we know. And he's a security guard too. I mean, how patriotic is that? Surely more than a guy who studys to be a doctor and only cures his mother.

- Wengweng does not loaf around abroad while thinking about politics in his homeland. Wengweng thinks about going abroad while killing politicians in his homeland.

- Wengweng is actually the most popular Filipino in the internet and he banks on positive greatness (the iLoveYou virus guy is a douche, don't even get me started)

- Wengweng doesn't drink.

- He likes coke but you don't see him doing commercials about it by singing. Wengweng is not a sellout.

- Wengweng knows how to ride a mini motorcycle. How many heroes have you seen riding one? Only Wengweng.

- Wengweng goes to church.

- In case of war, Wengweng can repopulate our nation very quickly.

- Wengweng fits in any standard-size overhead storage bin on any aircraft.

- There's documented evidence that Wengweng can kill samurais.

- Wengweng has his own rap.

Thank you, Weng Weng for reassuring the world's stereotype of Filipinos as sophisticated killers, darling lovers, and men with small penises.

p.s. No, you're not the only one thinking - dude that guy's a pedophile from the last pool scene of the clip.

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