Airline Schmairline

Sunday, April 22, 2007

I was thinking at the airport earlier, if in case my plane had crash landed into solid ground at terminal velocity just a few minutes before landing, people on site would have talked like this:

Air Crash Investigator 1: It seems that the plane went down during the final few minutes of their 18 hour travel. The impact of the crash made sure that the survivability is very low, and the ensuing fireball would incinerate any soul to survive the initial fall. We can't even see body parts.

Air Crash Investigator 2: OH THE HUMANITY!

Air Crash Investigator 1: They deserved better.

Air Crash Investigator 2: The passengers, really suffered didn't they? Staying for 18 hours inside a cramped plane is just too much.

Air Crash Investigator 1: It would've been faster if they just crashed the plane after takeoff.

Ok, that was a bit of a cruel thing for me to say, but believe me, there are very few things in this world that can be likened to staying inside the economy class of an airplane during long haul flights flying over the most turbulent air routes on the planet. One thing that can simulate the experience is being a sardine inside a can. But the sardine he dead so it doesnt feel much, so not really. Also, he's guaranteed to have a fellow adult seated beside him and not a sniveling, vomiting swiss baby.


Speaking of crashes, during my domestic flight from Rome to Amsterdam, just as we were flying above the Matterhorn of the Alps, I saw a passenger plane pass by just below ours with one of its engines emitting smoke. I would've taken pictures but the asshole at the check in counter placed me by the emergency door exit so I had to place my back on the overhead, along with my camera.

The Italian guy I was sitting with had the brilliant suggestion that they were crop dusting. At 30,000 feet. At the Swiss Alps where not even grass grows. With the black "dust" coming out of the engine.

The cabin pressure must've gotten to him.


Anyway the jet lag's getting to me. I'll start telling more stories about my tour when I get the time. It's good to be home. Helloooo dried McChickens.

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