Rizal Acquitted

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


In a startling turn of events, on the same day that Hubert Webb has found himself acquitted of a crime that happened 19 years ago, and Hayden Kho found himself acquitted of a crime he's been repeatedly doing for five years now, the Coberresimo de Royal Audiencia has reversed its decision of finding Dr. Gat Jose Rizal guilty of conspiracy, sedition and rebellion - a good 114 years after the so called trial-of-the century. After a review of the cases filed, it was determined that Rizal's actions at that time were in fact supporting reverse of the situation and actually decried rebellion. The only reason the jury at the time found it otherwise was that one - they didn't have Rizal101 subject back then and two - Cesar Montano won't be born for another eighty or so years.

Public Static tried to reach Dr. Rizal for comment at the Rizal Park. "Sálgame de este ataúd!"* he says in muffled sounds. Haha, oh Rizal, you card.

*Get me the fuck out of this coffin, or something

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