Street Smart Vending

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Why do street peddlers selling stuff to cars keep on carrying stuff that aren't remotely salable to their targetted demographic? The other day I was driving and somebody tried to sell me a set of broom and dustpan. While I can't say that I will never ever need that, I can't find a situation where I would need a fullsized one like what they're selling while I'm driving. First of all, if you're driving your own car, getting a low priced broom might not be in your priority purchases. Secondly, you know what's awkward to store in a car? A full sized broom, unless you're a witch and your car is in danger of breaking down by the roadside. It's crazy.

Here are other things I've seen being sold on the road:

Silly umbrella hats - only remotely useful to people with convertibles. In any case, it still kind of looks retarded.

Cellphone casing - I guess this is okay, but fitting takes a while so I don't even see how they can sell even to willing customers.

Cellphone charger - You're on the road and you need to charge so I can understand the need, but the type that's being sold are the ones that need to be plugged into a WALL SOCKET. And last time I checked, cars don't have them.

One carton of oranges - Traffic can make you hungry, but you know what's hard to eat while traffic? Fruit that's too hard to peel with your bare hands, if you can spare them from holding on to the stickshift and the wheel.

If it were up to me, I'd start focusing on the market niche. They should get me as a consultant. I'd be recommending just one product that I know will be useful: urination cakes. They'd be very useful during heavy traffic congestions and easier to sell when sold together with soft drinks and mineral water. You don't even have to market it. You just go "Sir, adult diapers po! WHSHHHH WSHHHHH WSHHHHH" until he buys. No person without shaolin training will be able to resist holding his urine while you're doing that chant. Instant sell. Bonus points if there are multiple people who are holding their peebags inside the car.

Focused marketing, that's what I'd call it.


Anonymous said...

The book with stories as funny as these should better be out in the market soon. Also, I read you wrote for magazines. Can we knoe? You do more impact if many of us can formally read you comedy-wise; haven't still checked out the more earnest and may be less absurdly funny Chemical Manila. Have you videos doing stand-up? Also, more sources of what your childhood had been reading, skipping, and the things you thought were helping you do more genius and that aren't unfairly merely genetic. Fortified iron in the waffles is brilliant. Bad segue..I'm that guy who asked about the stocks. So help: is time deposit legit? I heard of Metrobank's high rate; what are my chances of my money deposited to be gone? Thank you. And don't hurt your head.


Hey, thanks for visiting again. It's been a while. Anyway, Time Deposit's always safe. If it's metrobank, you can at least be assured it won't fold up and die anytime soon. If you're paranoid, just keep a max of 500k in your deposit so you'll be covered by PDI insurance in case Metrobank suffers from bankruptcy. Eitherway, TD is a safe choice.

stampychan said...

You can also add fishing rods in your list. I mean come! Fishing rods around the highway? What could you catch with it...and the fishing rods they sell are the ones that aren't foldable. You can't even fit those sticks inside your car.

Anonymous said...

100% agree on the fishing poles. Ano yun, baka magbaha? HAHA


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