One-Liners from Plurk

Oneliners harvested from my defunct Plurk account.

Ninja Turtles = thesis group. Leonadro leads, Donatello does machines. Rapahel is cool, but rude. Michaelangelo is the party dude (drop!)

Insult of the day: "I would like to thank ___, without whom, nothing would have changed in the outcome."

The pride of a car is not on the tracks it runs on, but on the engine inside that's making it possible

A good seed blooms, however rough the field.

Never let principles get in the way of the greater good.

I once cried because I had no shoes - until I tried on platform shoes.

Don't be afraid to go after your dreams. What isn't real cannot hurt you.

I hope politicians would stop saying they deserve to win because they used to be poor. HITLER WAS POOR TOO. IDI AMIN WAS POOR TOO.


I used to wonder why we kept on drawing pink lines along our streets in manila until I realized maybe we just wanted our streets highlighted on Google Earth.


Glow in the dark stickers + dark person = infinite energy.

We should start working on handbags that look like books.Nobody would ever be desperate enough to snatch something that says "Twilight".

Safe na daw yung mga counting machines na gagamitin sa eleksyon. Kasi nilagyan na nila ng condom sa loob.

When you talk of your achievements, never talk in the past tense. Any idiot can get lucky. Character is in consistency.

Kapag binato ka ng bato, batuhin mo ng tinapay. tapos habang kumakain sila, batuhin mo naman ng granada.

Best way to avoid adultery: be butt ugly. problem solved.

When we get hurt by the truth, pain tends to last long, because you just know there's no apologizing for that.

Pride is a dagger only you can stab yourself with.

Can't we give storms names that don't sound obnoxious? There's much to be gained by using "Gardo Versoza" at least once a year.

Getting what you want is never as important as who you became in trying to get it.

Nung nauso H1N1, lahat ng tao naging doctor. Dumating si Ondoy, lahat ng tao meteorologist. Pero bakit nung kumalat videos ni Hayden Kho...

The only good presidency is the one that's happened long ago enough for people to forget how bad it was.

Success is not about the profits you make. It's about the losses you did not take.

Eh pano kung necrophiliac yung bear? Wala na.

What is there to regret if not only regret itself? Regret is like urine. Inevitable, but ultimately better let go than kept.

"ibabayad ho ba yung bata?" tanong nung ale. "wag na po," sabi ng tsuper, "hindi ako nagsusukli ng body parts"

Sometimes people get angry at something for so long, they tend to forget what it is that made them angry in the first place.

When a man slaps you, turn the other cheek. His cheek. Fast enough to break his neck.

I once cried because I had no shoes. But then I saw a woman with no feet. Manananggal pala.

People who are allergic to crab meat should pretend allergies too when eating fake crab meat.