Seatbelts Are There For A Reason

(also, according to this kid, they make your sex organ shoot rainbows)


I really don't get why Filipinos act all smart whenever they are asked to put on their seatbelts. If they're seated upfront and and they're asked to put on a seatbelt, they'll say "Wala naman manghuhuli" (nobody will catch us), as though the main purpose of having an industry grade safety device around your waist and across your chest is to prevent cops from giving you a ticket and ruining your day. Morons. It's the other way around, actually. For when your brain is splattered across the dashboard, the cop who'll have to file a report and scrape off your misplaced greymatter will have his day ruined - unless of course there's not much to splatter in the first place.



And then there are them smartasses who sit in the back who even ask "Why do I have to?" as though their knowledge of physics has bested years of crash testing by people who spent years studying unfortunate fuckers who had to exit the vehicle via the windshield in the most violent ways possible. Listen: A car is a metric ton of metal and composite material that runs on a hundred horsepowers that can hurl it to ridiculous speeds - and occasionally, ridiculous collisions. A person seating at the back is no less likely to get thrown around (or out) than the guy sitting five inches in front of him. There is no fancy magical barrier between the driver seat and the back seats that tells the 4800lbs worth of force to spare the stupid fuckers at the back.

If the engineers thought we'd be prim and proper at the back even in the event of a crash, they would not have to bother putting belts at the back now, would they?

You know what? Maybe we should go back to the glorious 80s. Back then, seatbelts were still optional in cars, and it wasn't against the law to not wear one. The safety-conscious people can go buy seatbelts and wear them because they know they want to be walking out of an accident instead of being carted off in a black trash bag humpty-dumpty style. Meanwhile, the stupid people who think "it's all good" can go let the law of natural selection pick them off the roads.

And considering the ratio of smart and smartarded drivers we have here in the Philippines, that ought to solve our traffic congestion too.

MMDA, if you can read this, you can just send the consultancy cheque to my business address.