Dead Humorists

I bet it would be really tough when comedians die. You don't really know if they're there to send condolences or if they're just making sure that the death wasnt a prank. If it's a real death, more people will be disappointed than grevious, saying "Maaan, what a chip. And I thought I was going to see a good joke." And we all know disappointing people through death is never a good thing.

As for me, I was thinking back to all the funerals I've attended and I realized one thing. I saw the people coming and going in the funerals and now I think "Shit, I can't die yet. I don't have enough friends to visit me!"I mean, who'd eat the sandwiches? It'd be worse if people would feel that they're wasting the sandwiches and then secretly pack them into my casket so nobody will ever notice that they were unconsumed. Because then I wouldn't know if I'm going to hell, heaven, or a picnic.

What would be awesome though is if we can get customized caskets. Like, for me, it would be cool if people used caskets that look like coke vending machines. If a passerby looked at a burial that uses a casket like that, they'd go "Why are they burying a perfectly good vending machine?" They'd feel real righteous about it too but later on they'd feel bad when they realize that it can really be buried because there's nothing to vend inside. There's advertisment opportunities somewhere there too, if you think really hard.

A good epitaph would be something tough-sounding like "So, you finally got dirt on me. You happy?", but I'd rather write my own epitaph when I already need it.