Queso De Bola Hates You

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Is it just me or is the Quezo De Bola the most impractical shit you will ever see being unquestionably gobbled up by consumers during Christmas? Whoever designed this piece of cheese really hates ordinary consumers. Here's a reason why:

1. Quezo De Bola is round, making it all the harder to store in a flat space without having it roll off somewhere else (like the ground, where it does not belong)

2. It's coated in paraffin wax. Call me backwards, but when considering looking for a way to find a way to keep the cheese clean, my thought isn't going to be "Let's dip it in melted red candle"

3. Quezo De Bola is sinisterly LARGE. Large enough, at least in my family, to supply cheese until about two months before the next Christmas season, ensuring we'd have to eat cheese at least once every two days if we want to be able to eat a new Quezo De Bola the following Christmas, which I have no idea why we'd want to, but we do so anyway.

4. Quezo De BOla is LARGE. Did I mention that? Because of #3, you have to store it at some point, and then when you try to fit it into the fridge, IT WON'T FIT BECAUSE IT'S ROUND. (see #1)

5. So now you have to chop it up into pieces, which defeats the purpose of #2 and exposes the CHEESE to the ELEMENTS ANYWAY because that's what happens when you CUT the PARAFIN coating.

Why Filipinos continue to bother with this salty cheese that's just slightly softer than cheddar is beyond me.


A Y M S said...

so true!!! you've put into words, in a very entertaining way, what i have been thinking all these years, !

redistoolazytologin said...

I know right? I'm planning to replace Quezo De Bola this year with a product that fixes all those problems. It's called Ques-O Cheddar Cheese. Small, boxed shaped, and uses a normal foil/box casing featuring a mexican man who seems to be abnormally delighted at the sight of dairy products. As nature intended.

Anonymous said...

my queso de bola smells like a foot


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