Post Christmas Roundup

Sunday, December 28, 2008

In case you people have been wondering why I'm whoring this blog the way I used to, I went on a persocom/internet rehab program that my younger sister started. I spent the past few days in Cavite where the closest thing I have to a computer is a Wii that has about 5 games in it.

As for stories, I can't really give you much since I was too busy soaking up in nostalgia to bother myself in making mental notes. I did have one quote noted however, and it says:

"No next-gen computer console can top the adrenaline rush of being chased by a rabid dog while riding your bike."

Red Ring of Death? Try Rabies.


So anyway, we had our Aguinaldo-giving again this year, the same way last year except this year I sponsored half of the budget. This year, we used the same methodologies again as last year. My mom gives out stubs with numbers on one side of the house and I give out the corresponding 20 peso bills in exchange for stubs on the other side of the house. My mom is responsible for stamping people so they don't do repeats and I'm responsible for controlling the released tickets.

Since people have this tendency to swamp people who give out the money, the dual line process gives me the reason to say "I only give money to the people with stubs" and if my mom gets badgered about money, she can always say "I only give out stubs"

The stubs are numbered also, so people won't be able to cut lines when receiving the actual numbers. Of course, Filipinos being the ingenious fuckers that they are, still manage to find ways to try and violate/rape the system.

We gave out about 400 20-peso bills and during that time, the following methods of trying to cheat were noticed:

- Classic line cutting. Since the stubs were numbered, I always find myself amused to see the number jump from 16 to 97. That's like 81 people skipped.

- People who reason out lost stubs. Now, while it's possible to lose your stub, the line where my mom distributes the stubs is about 10 meteres away from me. If you lose your stub the 30 something steps you did on your way to my side of the house then maybe you shouldnt really be holding a 20 peso bill.

- People who say they're too old to get stubs. I don't know about you, but the last time I checked, aguinaldos ARE for kids. While we dont really discriminate the old from the young during these sessions, push comes to shove, maybe the old people really shouldnt fall in any of the two lines.

- Pickpockets. Since I distribute while standing, I can't recall how many times I felt a small hand reach into the pockets of my shorts. Lucky for me, I was holding all the money and stubs in my hands. I swear, if it weren't Christmas, I'd have smashed whoever owned those hands with my elbow.

- The last case, I found really amazing. We opened our gates to distribute for a very short time and until that time, nobody really knew how we were going to go about it. The stub is made up of a cutout piece of an old Mercury Drug calendar, with a number written on it and a scribble, which is actually my mother's signature.
During the latter parts of the aguinaldo-giving I saw COUNTERFEIT stubs, manufactured in almost less than an hour. I wish I was shitting you but I'm not. Calendar cutouts from other calendars, ones that have scribbles but arent my mother's signature on it. I had to drive these people away as fast as I could before I decide to go anti-piracy on those assholes.

Talk about Christmas surprises.

All and all, it was tiring but fun. We learned many things this year so next year we'll probably be working with the NBI and will be employing biometrics and online preregistrations instead.

Even if it's late,

A very merry Christmas to each and every one of you.


Jherskie said...

haha! counterfeit stubs, ftw! :D

i wish i had P20 bills back then. I was handing out P100's (although only to a few, of course) XD



Next time, you can go to any bank and specify the denomination of your withdrawal. Just dont say "unsequenced and used", because nothing says "I am a money launderer" faster than that.

Jherskie said...

hehe. don't you need at least P10,000 to be considered a money launderer? (coz i don't have that amount of money) XD

JB Narciso said...

stupid question: FTW stands for?

Erik Gaius said...

FTW means...
- For The Win (Internet Slang)
- Fuck The What (Reverse WTF)
- Fuck The World (Song)
- From The Wilderness (Website)
- Family Tree Maker (Software)

Google\Wikipedia is your friend.. Most of the time..

Anonymous said...

I noticed it just now. Goddamn, your grammar sucked on this post.


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