Looking for something to hang? Hang yourself instead.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Now here's one fad I don't think I'll ever get. Why do people insist hanging large stuff like mobile phones on their necks? What kind of idiot would think it's fashionable to have something the size of a grown man's fist dangling on their collarbone?

One common reason people give me whenever I decide to hurt my brain more by asking ask is that they want their phones to be accessible. What the fuck? Is pulling your phone out of your pocket/bag that much of a delay? That can't take more than five seconds to do now can it? I can understand if these people are some part of an emergency response team who need to answer calls ASAP. We can't all be firemen now, can we? Trust me, your best friend Macky complaining about how his callcenter work sucks ass wont mind if you answer 3 seconds slower than usual.

I don't know about your standards for aesthetics but dangling a cellphone on your neck looks hideous - at par with having it attached to your belt, batman style (yes, people still do this, and more often than you'd think). I won't even begin to discuss how much of a hassle it is to other people when an exposed phone rings compared to when it's somewhere tucked in - gist of it is that it sucks major ass.

Then there's that small issue of us living here in the PHILIPPINES, where phones are hot items to steal. Wearing one around your neck turns you into a criminal's version of the party "pabitin", minus the beautiful colorful trimmings.

Now, getting mugged is nobody's fault. Shit happens to the best of us. But wearing something to steal around your neck is basically asking for it, which I have to say, is ridiculously dumb.

And if it ended with cellphones I'd probably not even write this article, but lately people have been attaching more than just cellphones. Just the other day I saw a PSP hanging on some douchebag's neck. A PSP. In case you aren't familiar with the PSP's most distinct feature, it's LARGE. Hanging it around your neck will most likely cause you to get some sort of sore neck syndrome or some obscure neck disorder they haven't had a name for yet.

To the guys, listen. A PSP hanging around your neck is tantamount to a pussy deflector, a wooden sign that says "I'm a retard, ignore any conversations I might try to strike up." and a biohazard warning rolled into one.

I don't even see the point of hanging a game device around the neck. If taking calls cant be that much of a priority, even more so for casual gaming. Shit just doesn't make sense anymore.

You know what? Screw it. Hang those things around your neck. At least I'll easily be able to tell if somebody's one the people who I shouldn't be associating with.

And that's something for the better.

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