Gundam Condoms

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Going back to the idea of product marketing being a somewhat good industry to use common sense, there's still one place in this world that serves an exception to this rule, where normal marketing can be assumed as a shunned upon practice. I'm talking about Japan.

I got good reason to think that they don't make products there to cater to a certain demographic (i.e. children, housewives, programmers, yakuza). In Japan, demographics actually form around the product instead (pokemon, anime in general etc). I mean why else would anybody want to buy a Pikachu figurine costing thousands of dollars that does jackshit?

Still, I'd like to think there are some shitty decisions you can make in a place where unconventional is encouraged. Take for example these:

Gundam condoms. Not taking into consideration hardcore collectors (who, safe to say, will buy anything nowadays), who else would find use for these? I'm no expert at statistics but I'm guessing Gundam is the only show on the planet where percentage of virgins watching the show is higher than that of Barney and Teletubbies.

Okay, let's consider that one gundam watcher is actually able to get a girl. And convince the girl that he's man enough to get into the sack with her. At this point we're already talking about astronomical odds but let's just think hypothetically.

So the anime geek and the girl hook up. They begin making out. Let's not elaborate on that, since I'm not into imagining people making out when I'm not the guy involved.

Then, at the last moment, the guy whips out a packet from his Naruto ninja bag. It's a "love cannon" condom complete with print-ons of his favorite mecha on the latex. Here's the question: Now, what kind of self-respecting girl would want to get slampieced by something that could quite possibly be infectious enough to turn her into a nerd in a matter of seconds? You might as well take out a damn carrot plucked out of fresh soil and point it at her genitalia.

You know what would've been a better idea? Gundam Kleenex, with hentai printed on ever tissue. That would really sell. I should've gotten into marketing instead.

Some days I just wonder if I'm at the right occupation.

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